Be the Person Before Having the Thing with Master Coach Lisa Martinello

Welcome to this Daring Adventure podcast where we work on bridging the gap between where we are and where we want to be in order to live a bigger and bolder life. In this podcast, we will provide inspiration, tips, and skills you need to make your life the adventure you want it to be. Here's your host, mindset, mentor and life coach, Trista Guertin.

Trista: Hi everybody, and welcome to another episode of this Daring Adventure. Today I have a very special guest. We have master coach Lisa Martinello. Welcome, Lisa.

Lisa: Thank you, Trista. Happy to be here.

Trista: I'm so thrilled to have you as a guest. Lisa has been my coach. She was my instructor when I went through coach certification, and I've also subsequently worked with her in all things business coaching. So you have been with me through my entire coaching career over the past few years.

Lisa: Yes. It was so fun. I know you told me this other times. I couldn’t have done this without you. And I think in the beginning, right, we are always questioning, can I really do this? And I just love the idea that as coaches, the one thing we say sometimes can make a difference between somebody like giving up or something, continuing to do this. And I love that. But yes, I've seen all of your journey, so that's exciting to see you now all grown up.

Trista: Well, thank you. Thank you for all of your support over the past couple of years.

So today I have a few questions, and I want to know more about you because you know everything about me, but I don't know too much about your journey. And how did you get started into coaching?

Lisa: Actually, I got started while I was working full time in my past life with a health coaching course that I did online. It was integrative nutrition. And then from there, really what I took home from that course, more than the topic, the health topics that we discussed was actually, like, how much I loved the coaching piece of it.

And so from there, I started doing other coaching certifications and courses both online in English and in Italy where I live, and that's how we ultimately met. Okay, and so when was that? How long ago was that? It was around 2014. 2015 is when I started doing these. It's been a while.

Trista; Okay, and so what's your favorite part of coaching?

Lisa: I think really, I was reflecting on this the other day, and it's really the combination of a job that allows you to be creative, work on the deep stuff, like going in depth and not having just a small talk, which is something that I love. Being creative, creating ideas, creating tools for people, helping people, all of these things ticks the boxes for me. What is a meaningful profession? And I just love that we live in a time where we get to do this.

Trista: And I've appreciated the work that you've done, especially like the work that we've done post certification in your private practice because you are very creative and you can see that the content that you're creating and the discussions that we've had are very thoughtful and they've just been so helpful to me. You've presented things in a different angle and taken us much deeper than obviously I would have done myself.

Lisa: Oh, I love that. Yeah. And honestly, the real answer to that question is for me, the most rewarding part of this is like seeing my clients doing new things in the world and just in general, the concept of helping people become more who they want to be. Right. Which is a lot of related to my work and just like the topics that I like to coach on but that I think is the ultimate privilege right. Of helping somebody step into a version of themselves that they want to be.

So that's like the cherry on top, but it's also the most important piece. Yes.

Trista: No, exactly. And that's what I love too, is that we see people, they come to us and we start working together and they start imagining possibilities for themselves and for their lives that they had never had before. And that's been my journey and that's why I'm so excited to share it with people.

Lisa: Absolutely. And I think all of the other things that are around, like a coaching business or any business, like the accolades, the awards and the money, all of those things are helpful, are great, are fun, but I believe, like, a true coach really thrives on those things that we discuss. And those things cannot be just like collateral extra bonus, especially if you want to make this a profession. It's a profession where you are in contact with people, where you are asked to hold space when you are in service of people. And sometimes I feel like in the whole of the marketing world or the lead conversion or all of those things, we lose track of the important stuff.

Trista: Right. And so really, at the end of the day, that matters. So, going back to some of the content that you have created on your Instagram feed over the past, it's been the entire month of March correct, in March.

So you've been doing 30 truth over the course and so you've been releasing one each day and they've been very thoughtful and I in particular liked number 25, which you wrote, be what you don't have. And you mentioned becoming what's missing or and I'll quote you here: ‘you have the power to be the version of what you want to have that is accessible to you right now.’

Lisa: Yes. And I think what this means is sometimes we just look to get to the end of the finish line right before we allow ourselves to either think something about ourselves. Well, actually, it's deciding that we are that person first and then that we have in this moment with what is available and accessible to us.

In this moment, like how can we be that thing that we want to have or that we want to be now? And that ends up creating the final result and taking us to the finish line. And so we just forget that it's never the final thing that we get that will make us feel in a certain way or that will make the journey enjoyable or that really matters. There are so many miserable people in this world with very fat bank accounts, with having all of the boxes ticked that are not enjoying their life. And so I think that really is a concept that if we remember this, if we remember to be the person before we got the thing, then we will enjoy the thing when we got the thing, and we will have enjoyed the process getting there, right?

Trista: Yes. I love that. And I think it is so important. And how do we do that in coaching? How do we do that?

Lisa: What do you think? I think it's all about really changing the way we see ourselves. Right. There's a big misunderstanding that until we have something or we have done something, it's like the old Have / Do model, or if I have this thing that I'm going to do this and then I'm going to allow myself to believe that I am this person.

And so it's like really stepping into the be do have order of things where we have to start with the internal work of starting to see ourselves as the person that will create whatever result we want to create in our life, in our business. And that is a piece that is just not optional. It's either now or later that we will have to do that work. So I just encourage people to do that work now and then send that version of themselves to create the result in the world, right?

Trista: Yes, I love that. And I think it's also important to activate that feeling that you have this vision of yourself, who you want to become and also to start embodying that. Yes. Because when is it going to happen?

Lisa: We think, oh, on that day to the end of my marathon, then I will feel but you have to feel like a runner before you run the marathon. You have to identify on some level, maybe not 100%, but like 80% as a runner in order to even put your training shoes on. Right. And so that just makes the whole effort that we do in the marathon easier.

Trista; That makes the journey more enjoyable. Right? Yeah. And one of the most powerful tools I've found to do some of this work is through meditation and visualization and spending a few minutes every day visualizing that and activating the feeling. Yes.

It's like visualizing with your mind's eye, but also experiencing that vision through other senses. Right. And trying to really put yourself in that scene. When I do visualization and exercises to really help me with this, I like to visualize my future self. I'm not looking at her if she was a person. I'm actually visualizing almost like when I am on a video game and I am the protagonist of my vision. So I will see my arms, but I would not see my face. Right. Because I really want to strive to create that vision and put myself in the vision as if I was living the vision, not as if I was observing somebody else. Right, okay.

Trista: Interesting. Yeah. Because I think I've sort of been doing it like watching a movie, almost. Right. And that's awesome.

Lisa; Right. I feel like at the end of the day, if I really become my future self, I will be experiencing my life just as I'm experiencing my life right now. Right. So that's something that you can try if you want to do it differently. But even watching that in a movie, that's obviously super helpful.

Trista; So in terms of I asked all of my guests about their goals and do you set goals? And if so, what goals do you have for yourself right now?

Lisa: Yeah, that's such an interesting question. So I always, like, have this process of writing down things that I want, things that I imagine coming to me, things that I want to have in my life, in notebooks. So I fill out all of these notebooks, and every morning I would just write down whether that's a number of clients, whether that is the car, whether that is something. And I just have this habit.

I've been having that for so many years, and it's not even important that I focus on those things every day. It's just like the habit of just writing down what I want, writing down what I want to create that I found very helpful to just keep myself focused on that. And then with traditional goals, I've been through phases, right? So I've been through phases of doing it the traditional way, the smart goal way, specific time based, goal, specific result. I've tried focusing on the result as the most important thing.

We're only going to focus on the end result. And I found for myself, it's not my favorite style of setting goals. I think for me, it's like setting the goal, setting the vision, it's connecting to the feeling, and then it's also being not necessarily super attached to the timing of things. And that's something that I've been experimenting lately on. And just because I've just seen so many of my clients and me in the past just getting so hung up on the deadline of the goal, where I think those things help when we also just give ourselves grace on the other side, when we really take those deadlines and use them against ourselves, they cannot be super helpful.

And so I think I don't have a specific process that I always use, but I've been leaning more into really focusing on the vision, like you were saying, focusing on the feelings associated with that vision and then adopting an attitude of let's steadily move towards this without being distracted by the specific day. This has to happen by. And I just found it. For me, it just created so much relief that actually I can get myself to work on stuff that I was not even able to approach because I was having those hearts, that line in. My mind that makes sense.

And I think I want to say it's almost like when we have that pressure, it's almost like scarcity. It gets the opposite of abundance and. Grace, and it's only connected to what we were talking about in terms of if, you know, you are the person that will ultimately achieve this. You quiet down a little bit. You calm down. You're not as, like, in the hurry to prove. And it doesn't mean that you're not working hard, that you're not being all in. But it's one thing to be all in when you know you're going to do it, and you just feel it, and you're just, like, cultivating that belief. And it's one thing to be all in with the pressure of proving.

Trista: Yes, I think that's key.

Trista: Okay, so then what have you learned about yourself recently?

Lisa: Oh, that's a great question. I think what I have learned about myself recently and by recently, I just think in the last year or so are probably like two things. One is I've just been reconnecting to my rebel side in terms of I've always been super independent as a child. Like, I would just go out of the house, cross fields to go visit my best friend, not tell anyone. I was very independent, self assured, and the world, especially to women, the world teaches you that you have to behave and you have to be a good girl and you have to do this. And so I feel like reconnecting to that side of me that values freedom a lot. Values like independence knows what she wants. I'm curious to know if for you it's the same Teresa, but I can look back and trace the dots and notice how I always knew what was best for me all along, even though in the moment I never felt like it. Right. And so I feel like I've been rediscovering. And I don't even want to call it rebel because I don't look like a rebel. You would not describe me as a rebel as the first adjective, but I have this revolutionary, freedom based aspect to me that just like rediscover that and I like including that right in the way that I do things and the permission that I give myself in my day to day life in my business. So whenever we discover a part of us, we may be kept in the shadow a little bit right. Or we were taught not to have or not to trust. I think it's always super enriching to rediscover that.

Trista: Okay, I like that. Yes.

Lisa: Because I think connected to that is also trusting yourself to know what's best for you. And that is super important. Right. On every level. But normally the things that allow us to trust ourselves more is like when we really know ourselves in all of our parts and then we have the full picture of who we are. Right, right.

Trista: Yeah. Without the judgment, without the shoulds, without love and compassion and yeah, totally. So what are some of your favorite books or podcasts people apps, reading far from you? Yeah, exactly.

Lisa: I don't know. I think those books that you always keep in your bookshelf that you want for me a couple of years ago was Untamed by Glennon Doyle, which speaks a lot to this freedom that we were talking about. So that's been very good reading for me. And I just love in general, I don't sometimes have a favorite TV show or a favorite book or a favorite podcast, but I love archetypes. And so I like to just find archetypes in different TV shows, that maybe the character of that TV show represents a certain archetype for me. And so I love tracing those kind of things in different shows. And well, for podcast, I think I also am like rediscovering different genres that normally we listen to personal development, if you're anything like me. Right. And so one thing that I have been striving to do, I've really always done it, but is having different sources and different inspiration and different teachings. Maybe it's the same concept, but explain through a different lens or with a different voice. And I think it really helps to keep your perspective open to other ways of describing things, to just have this multifaceted view of maybe the same coaching concept or the same principle or even something that has nothing to do with coaching, but that you see describe through people from different backgrounds. And so I've really just like it's not even about the single show because I always tend to vary, but it's about keeping at least five to six different takes on the same thing. Right.

In my podcast player, I think it helps even with finding your own words or not repeating the same words or saying things in the same way that you would always say it.

Trista: Sure, yeah, that makes sense. Yes. I've been very focused on the self development and the business side recently, but yeah, it's important to have that. Yes.

Lisa: Sometimes like a mystery podcast or crime podcast. And also, I think when we go out of the bubble of personal development and coaching in general, we can even get ideas for coaching tools right, but they come from different places. So that's what I like about having a plurality of shows and variety in my player.

Trista: Okay, well, speaking of podcasts, tell us what you've been working on for yourself and your business and what's coming up for you.

Lisa: Yes, so right now I'm currently revamping things behind the scenes and getting ready to relaunch my website in April. And with that, shortly after, I'm going to have my own podcast, which I'm really excited about and I finally decided to launch. And yeah, it's going to be called Future Self Made, and it's going to be about business building and business coaching, mindset marketing, but it's going to be focused on the inner and the outer side of things. Right. And so the being and the doing. Right. What we were talking about earlier, I feel like I find lots of resources that are very strategic, technical, action focused, and then we have all of the mindset inner work focused podcast. And I think I want to provide something that gives both where of course, the inner work is paramount, but just like finding a way to merge the two.

Trista:  I love that. Very nice. Well, yeah, I can't wait to hear it.

Lisa: Yes, you're probably going to be in one episode for sure.

Trista: I would be honored. Thank you. So anything else you want to leave the listeners with before we finish up? Any final advice, tips?

Lisa: I think I just want to invite everybody to just really find their own independent vision of what they want, really pursue that, and trust themselves to decide what is best for them and what goals they want to set without being swayed or influenced or lured by all of the examples we have. Because I feel like at the end of the day, your vision, like, what you know will make you happy, right. May not look like what everybody else's vision looks like, but the only thing it needs to be to be enjoyable, to be actually giving you what you want is to be true. Right. And so I feel like we are all collectively buying into other people's goals or even worse, like comparing and despairing about everybody else's goals, and then our self work gets sucked into that and then we just lose pieces of ourselves. So if we find a way to really go back to what matters to us, the way we want to do things, which of course can change over time and it can grow and expand over time, but we want to lead ourselves first, always, right? Before we have somebody else lead us. So that's what I would like to I love it.

Trista: Thank you. All right, well, thank you so much for your time. Thank you. Trista, all the wisdom and inspiration that you've shared, I will make sure that everybody can find you, but where's the best place to find you?

Lisa: Well, it's my website, www Lisa L-I-S-A Martinello. That's like martin with ello.com and soon in podcast players with Future self made awesome.

Trista: All right, well, thank you again thank you, Trista. Thank you everybody for listening in. If you have a moment to rate, review, share and subscribe, I would greatly appreciate it. And if you're interested in trying coaching for yourself, there's a link in the show notes to my calendar. Please get on the calendar, schedule a session for yourself and let's chat. Bye. Bye.

Lisa: Bye.

Thank you for listening to this daring adventure podcast with your host, Trista Guertin. We hope you enjoyed the tips and conversations on how to get excited about life again as always. You can head to Tristaguertin.com for additional resources and to book a one on one coaching session. You can also follow Trista on Instagram at tristavguertin. Don't forget to subscribe, rate and review us on Apple podcasts. Thanks again for tuning in and we'll see you next time.