Confident Decision-Making

Welcome to This Daring Adventure podcast, where we work on bridging the gap between where we are and where we want to be in order to live a bigger and bolder life. In this podcast, we will provide inspiration, tips, and skills you need to make your life the adventure you want it to be. Here's your host, mindset mentor and life coach Trista G

Hey everybody. Welcome back to This Daring Adventure. It's been a few weeks. I took an unplanned break. I have been working in Lebanon for the past several years and was transitioning out of the country and got caught up in a bit of the war in Beirut. So, I had to take a bit of a break just because it became a lot, and now I am back in Canada. I am coaching full time, so I am thrilled, absolutely thrilled to be coaching full time, and I am back at it and one of the things that I love about coaching is that you learn where your power is and how to grab it and how to make it work so you have control over your life. You're just not reacting to what's going on, but you are driving it. You are living intentionally. You are living by design, not default and making decisions.

And many of you, and I know I've been there, get stuck in indecision, where you're constantly second guessing yourself and getting lost in confusion. And today I want to talk a little bit about breaking free of that and how to do it. I'll also cover why it's so important, and I'll give you a couple of examples to make these ideas really, come alive and help you to apply it in your own life.

So why is decision making so powerful? Making decisions is one of our privileges of being human. Unlike animals, we can look into the future. We can plan for it. We can make choices ahead of time. We can decide how we will act today, tomorrow, next month and next year. And when we make a decision and honor it, we're tapping into the highest part of our brain, the prefrontal cortex.

But how often do we avoid doing this? I know for myself, I have put off many decisions about relationships, about money, about work. And we indulge in confusion saying, I don't know. I don't know what to do. I don't know what I want. And we allow ourselves to sit in indecision. We think that it's necessary when in fact it's a choice and it holds us back. It keeps us playing small. It keeps us stuck. And we basically just indulge in indecision, inaction, and confusion.

Now, I have had a client who was looking at whether to stay in her current job or transition into something that she's always wanted to do and something that was more meaningful for her, something that gave her more energy, but the thought of leaving behind stability and the comfort is scary and she was waffling back and forth, not knowing if it was the right move for her. And that thought alone, that you don't know if it's the right move, kept her stuck for years. But here's the truth. There is no wrong decision. My client can choose whether to stay in the job or to go, but what matters the most is that she has her own back. She makes a decision. She likes her reasons, and then she commits to following through. If we allow ourselves to indulge in confusion, thinking that there is a right answer, or there's a wrong answer, we might fail that we might make a mistake. We are only postponing our own growth. And it keeps us in limbo.

People talk a lot about making the wrong decision, especially when it comes to big life decisions like relationships, career changes, where to live. You might hear people say, my first marriage was a mistake, or taking that job was the wrong decision. I really want to challenge that. What if there are no wrong decisions? What if every choice you've made has brought you to where you are today? It happened for you. It's a part of your path.

And the only thing that makes a decision wrong is if you decide that it was wrong. Think about that. If you could shift your mindset and believe that every decision is the right one because it led you to learn and grow, how much more confidently would you approach your choices? How would you show up differently? I had a client who was in her 50s and reflecting on her career she pursued for decades and she was thinking it might have been a waste. She shouldn't have done it. She should have left a long time ago. She should have chosen something else. But I encouraged her, instead of dwelling on whether it was the right or wrong path, to honor it as a part of her journey. It happened exactly as it should have because it did. And now she's free to make a new decision with confidence and knowing that whatever she chooses next, she will back herself up. She's not beating herself up for the decisions that she made or the actions that she took. She made that decision decades ago based on the information that she had, based on who she was at the time. And if you can look back at that now and say, you know what? I made the best decision that I could. It made sense at the time. I had my reasons. I liked my reasons. And you do the same thing for yourself in the future. And you know that you don't allow yourself to judge yourself and beat yourself up. then you will be much more confident in making those decisions and those choices in the future.

Now, let me give you four key reasons why you should start making decisions and being more decisive starting today.

The first reason is that it saves time.

When you stay in, I don't know mode, you waste valuable time. How many times have you put off decisions spending weeks, months, or even years agonizing over what to do? Think about decisions like whether to have children, change jobs, or end a relationship.

The longer you indulge in indecision, the more time you burn. In reality, not making a decision is a decision in itself. Let me repeat that. Not making a decision is a decision in itself.

But when you decide quickly and intentionally you move forward, you free up all of that energy, all that emotional and mental energy and give yourself space to focus on what you want to come next.

Second, it increases action. Once you make a decision, you can start taking action right away. If you're stuck in indecision, whether it's starting over in a business or ending a relationship, You're not moving forward, but once you decide, you can begin to take steps towards that goal. And that action creates momentum. For example, I had a client who finally decided to leave a toxic job. She wasn't happy. It was sucking up her energy and she decided to pursue her passion of becoming a yoga instructor instead and building her own business. Instead of. indulging in more self doubt. Once she made that decision, things started to change quickly for her and she started to feel a lot better. She had a lot more energy.

The third reason making decisions is important is because it accelerates growth. Growth will come from experience and learning, and that comes from taking action. When you decide you will expand your life, You're opening yourself up to the possibilities. You're opening yourself up to the opportunities on the flip side, confusion will keep you small. For instance, if you are thinking about returning to school for a new degree, you might get stuck in what if I fail, but if you make the decision to go for it. Even when there's fear, because fear doesn't mean stop, you start to grow because you're in new territory. You're having new experiences. You always benefit when you learn and when you grow. The fourth reason is that it builds confidence.

Making decisions and following through on them builds confidence. Think about how you feel when you're stuck in confusion. You're doubting, you're second guessing yourself, you're feeling insecure, but compare that to how you feel when you decide.

When you make a decision and you have your own back, your confidence soars because you are believing in yourself. You're proving to yourself that you trust your own judgment. You're listening to what it is you truly want and you're following and going after what gives you energy. Confidence doesn't come from avoiding decisions. It comes from making them.

Even when you're not sure of the outcome. Even if you're not sure whether, how things will work out. But you trust in yourself. You know you can handle it. You allow and process your emotions. And you keep going no matter what.

So how do you make decisions with confidence? How do you make a decision when you're feeling stuck? Here are my guidelines.

First, you need to consider all your options without bias, ask yourself, if you were starting fresh, would I choose this option again? Redecide. This is especially powerful when deciding about something like staying in a relationship or a job. Would you marry this person again today? Would you take this job again? This helps you to break free from the trap of sticking with something just because you've always done it.

Consciously re deciding, re committing or letting it go and choosing something else is where your power is. And it's okay if you wouldn't decide again, if you wouldn't choose it again. There is power in that, and it doesn't make you wrong for making that decision in the first place. It just means you've changed, you've grown, your priorities are different, you want something different. You really don't need to explain your reasons as long as you know them and you like them.

But don't make yourself wrong for the original decision, the original choice, if you're deciding on something else in the future. Imagine that both decisions turn out amazing. If you're trying to decide between two options, imagine that both outcomes are equally successful.

So for instance, if a woman is deciding whether to stay in her marriage Or leave. What if both options lead to an amazing life? Stay in that relationship and it can be great. Or leave it and you can have a great life too. Either way, you know it works out. So then what do you want? Oftentimes, we choose the option that we feel is the safest. That we feel has a greater chance of working out. But in reality, they both have a chance of working out. Both can be great. Challenge your brain to focus on how that could be. Don't let your brain go down the path of doom and gloom and all the problems and everything that can go wrong. Which would you choose if both would be great? This can remove the fear of failure and allow you to focus on what you truly want. Now remember, there is no failure. There's only learning and if failure weren't a big deal, what would you choose?

When you take failure out of the equation, you realize that every decision is a chance to learn and grow. It's not a big deal. How would you show up differently if failure wasn't such a bad, horrible thing? You had your own back. You didn't beat yourself up. You didn't worry about what other people thought.

Next, you can ask your future self. Picture yourself 10 years from now and ask her what decision she, you should make. Your future self is wiser and more experienced, and you can tap into that and find out what would she tell you to do today. If you imagine that, let's say right now you're in your mid forties, deciding whether to start a new business or not, you can consult your 55 year old self. What would she say to you? Would she encourage you to take the leap? Would she tell you that this can work, that you can do this? That it's a success. Can you listen to her? Can you tap into that? It's very powerful. It's very helpful.

Decisions are made in an instant. You don't need weeks or months to decide. And remember, when making a decision and having your own back on that decision is the key to living with confidence and moving forward in life. You don't have to do things perfectly, you can think that both options can be amazing. Both options can turn out great. Know your reasons for what you're choosing and like them. You don't have to explain them to anybody. Have your own back. Don't beat yourself up. Don't judge yourself.

Make the best decision that you can today, knowing that this will free you up, that this will give you power. This will give you energy and it will free up space to start taking action and move yourself forward. I encourage you to make whatever decision it is that you've been putting off, whether it's about your career, relationships, or personal growth, decide, act, And watch your life transform.

Thank you so much for joining me today on This Daring Adventure. I hope this helps you to step out of confusion and into confident decision making.

If you're ready to take action, you can get on my calendar. Let's talk. I will tell you about my six week jumpstart program to building a better relationship with yourself.

I truly believe this is a powerful Program that will help you to build the foundation of that relationship with yourself, which transforms every area in your life. It helps you to stop reacting to external circumstances and to tap into that calm centered power that you have within you. And when you do that's when you start to make those decisions, start taking action. Be intentional about what you are creating for yourself and who are you are becoming.

So get on the link in the show notes, get on my calendar. Let's talk. I'd love to tell you all about it. All right, let's get you moving forward. You don't have to stay stuck.

Thanks again, everybody. I'll talk to you next week. Bye bye.

Thank you for listening to This Daring Adventure podcast with your host Trista Guertin. We hope you enjoyed the tips and conversations on how to get excited about life again.

As always, you can head to tristaguertin.com for additional resources and to book a one on one coaching session.

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