Confusion is a Choice

Welcome to This Daring Adventure podcast, where we work on bridging the gap between where we are and where we want to be in order to live a bigger and bolder life. In this podcast, we will provide inspiration, tips, and skills you need to make your life the adventure you want it to be. Here's your host, mindset mentor and life coach Trista Guertin.

Hey everybody, welcome back to This Daring Adventure. Unfortunately, just before I sat down to record this episode, my allergies flared up, and so I'm sounding a little bit stuffed up. I apologize. I don't know why this happened, but here it is. So I'm just going to. I'm just going to go with it.

Before we start, I wanted to let you know that on November 27th, I am holding another masterclass. I did the breaking through barriers, taking purposeful action webinar masterclass this week. And I love doing these classes. It was a lot of fun. and I sent out the recording for those who couldn't make it live.

So I am doing another one on the 27th at 2 p. m. Eastern time. It's the Get Unstuck Masterclass. So if you are feeling stuck but you want to move forward, the, if you're tired of the frustration, the overwhelm, the exhaustion, then we're going to take an hour and we're going to go through why you get stuck and my process for helping you move through it and out of it for good.

You never have to stay stuck.

You never have to be stuck again.

I will introduce you to my program, the six week jumpstart to building a better relationship with yourself, because that is the foundation. For everything you want to create in your life. And it's definitely the key to getting unstuck. So I will go through that.

And that's November 27th again at 2 p. m. Eastern time.

I will be putting the link to register in the show notes. You need to register in advance. And then if you can't make it live, you can catch the replay. I will share that when I'm done.

The other thing, I have created a mini course on overcoming limiting beliefs. Limiting beliefs are the stories, the thoughts that we keep on thinking.

Sometimes we've been thinking them for decades and they're not helpful. And they hold us back and they keep us playing small.

So something like, I don't have what it takes. I'm not good enough. It's too old. Or I'm too old. All of these things that make us feel terrible when we think them, and then we don't take the action that we know we want to take.

And these limiting beliefs are often just. a running soundtrack in our head. They're on a loop. Probably we're not very conscious of how many times we think them and they just repeat and repeat and we don't realize that they're optional.

And so I've designed, it's just a tiny little mini course. You can do it on your phone in about 20 minutes and it just goes over how to identify your limiting beliefs and then how you can start to shift them, how you can start to shift away from them and create new beliefs that are helpful and that will serve you and that will move you forward because a belief is just a thought you keep on thinking.

So we have to do a little bit of work to rewire those neural pathways in your brain that keep these old limiting beliefs on a loop in your head, in your mind, but it's totally possible to do and I have a few tips and exercises you can do to start to do that.

And it's important work. It's part of the process to getting unstuck for sure.

The link for that will be in the show notes as well.

And then finally, I am offering free 30 minute mini coaching sessions. These are a great opportunity for you to get some support on any issue that you wish.

The coaching we'll do is about 20 minutes long, which may not seem like a lot, but trust me, you can get some powerful shifts done in that time. And it helps to get that support. A lot of times, we think we just can manage on our own and just keep doing what we're doing. But the truth is, if you keep doing what you're doing, you'll continue to get the same results.

And while, yeah, you can continue to work on the issue or the problem, whatever it is that you have.

But Imagine just having that extra support and how that can move you forward. So I will put the link to the show notes. I will put the link to my calendar in the show notes and you can sign up for a mini course. And you can sign up for a mini session then, think of it as just as you might go to the gym and hire a trainer, you know that when you hire a trainer to help you work out and to give you guidance, it is because it's you. It's a lot easier and faster to get started and that you have a greater chance of reaching your goals with the expert support, accountability and structure. And that's what coaching does. So here's your opportunity to try that out for yourself. And it's a lot of fun. And I look forward to meeting you there.

All right, let's dive into the episode.

And so today the episode is on refusing confusion. the most common obstacles I see with my clients is their tendency to indulge in confusion.

Confusion is an indulgent emotion. It's not necessary. And we start to use, I don't know, as our default mode, whether it's about starting a business or changing jobs or deciding what they want in life, whether they want to stay in a relationship, whether they want to move houses, whatever it is.

And this state of indecision feels necessary. It feels important, and it might even feel productive. But in reality, it's indulgent and it's unhelpful. Problem with confusion is that it keeps us in limbo.

It's robbing us of momentum and time. It prevents action and forward progress because it feels safe to stay stuck in I don't know.

But here's the truth. There are no wrong decisions. What makes a decision wrong? It's simply our judgment about it. There's no right or wrong. Instead, we can choose to see every decision as a part of our unique path. It's how you're going to choose to think about your decision and the results that you obtain. When we embrace our past choices and stop labeling them as mistakes, we cultivate trust in ourselves. We have our own back. And then this trust empowers us to make decisions now, knowing that we'll have our own backs no matter what happens. We know that if something happens, we won't beat ourselves up. We won't criticize ourselves, we won't judge ourselves. We will be able to handle any emotion and we will learn from it, It's not going to be something that we're going to make into a disaster or that necessarily has to stop us from going after what we want.

Why is being decisive so important? Why do we want to get out of confusion as quickly as possible? Here are four reasons.

First of all, it saves time. Every moment spent in confusion is time wasted. Not making a decision is, in fact, and in itself, a decision. And it keeps you stuck. Imagine how much more productive and intentional your life could be if you stopped postponing choices.

Second, it increases action. Indecision often leads to inaction. We consume more information. We procrastinate. We distract ourselves instead of taking steps forward. What happens? We're scrolling on social media. We're looking for the next course. We're watching TV. We are stuck in our own heads and wasting time instead of taking the action that will move us forward. But the moment we make a decision, we create clarity and we open the door to action. And this action is where learning and growth happens.

Third, it drives growth. Growth comes from expanding your experiences, and this only happens when you decide and you act. Confusion shrinks our world. Decisiveness, on the other hand, allows you to embrace new opportunities and challenges.

Fourth, it builds confidence. Confidence is the by product of taking consistent action and following through on decisions. Think about how empowered you feel when you commit to something and stick with it. Confidence grows as you trust yourself to handle the outcomes, good or bad.

And I would add a fifth one, that is it is empowering and it's also freeing, right? Moving out of confusion, taking a decision, moving yourself forward, makes you feel lighter. It makes you feel empowered. It makes you feel stronger, it does take a weight off of your shoulders for sure.

So how can you move out of confusion and into decisiveness?

First, I would remove history bias and ask yourself, if I were starting fresh today, would I choose this job, this relationship, this situation? Don't let the past dictate your decisions.

Think about it from today. You don't have to go back to that time where you started, but think about, would you choose it today? Would you choose it again? Do you want to keep it? Then, imagine both options.

Whatever you're trying to decide between, they both turn out amazing.

Both paths can lead to success. Which one excites you or aligns with you more? if you knew both would turn out okay, what would you choose? Then you always want to reframe failure. What if failure wasn't a big deal? And instead of seeing failure or fearing failure, see it as an opportunity to win or learn. There's always an opportunity to learn, evaluate what's happened, learn from your experiences, and then apply that knowledge going forward. And it can be very empowering and very helpful.

Next consider saying yes to both. Sometimes it's not about choosing one thing or another. Can you explore ways, and this is a great exercise for your brain to, give it a task, give it something to think about, and explore ways to integrate both options creatively. You'd be surprised if you put your brain on it. If you ask it that question, how can I say yes to both? what it might come up with.

Next, you can consult your future self. Some of the future self work is so much fun and it's so powerful.

Can you imagine yourself 10 years from now? What advice would your wiser future self give you about this decision? And if you can sit and just imagine this, take some time, maybe write it out, you'd be amazed at what information you could get from this.

Next, set a deadline. Decisions don't take months, they take moments,

Give yourself a clear deadline, make the decision, and then commit to it. But a lot of people say that, it took me weeks to make that decision. No, you make a decision in an instant. It you wallowed in confusion for weeks, but you decided in an instant. So you can decide quickly and effectively if that's what you want.

Next, ask what would love do? This simple question can provide profound clarity. Love might mean leaving, it might mean staying, or it might be stepping into discomfort for growth. Love for yourself, love for the other person. You can apply this in many different ways, but if it seems it feels relevant to you, it can be a very helpful question.

Next, move toward who you want to be. Discomfort and fear aren't reasons to avoid action. They're often signs that you're on the right path. Most of the time, we're going to be experiencing discomfort.

Either we experience the discomfort of stagnating, staying the same, indulging in confusion, not moving forward.

Or, we experience the discomfort of growth, of learning, of change, and that moves us towards who we want to be. It moves us towards evolving and growing and becoming the next version of ourselves.

Finally, For each option, evaluate the best and worst outcomes.

You'll often find that the worst case scenario is missing out on the best case scenario. Think about that. The worst case scenario is missing out on the best case scenario. you never know how things are going to turn out. And it's equally true, you could experience the best case scenario as the worst case scenario.

And our brain tends to focus and fixate and predict the worst case scenario.

But we have a just as equal chance of having the best case scenario work out. And imagine how amazing that will be.

So don't let your brain drag you down that rabbit hole of fixating on the worst case scenario. Imagine both. Imagine that they can both be experienced, they could both happen, and that it could be pretty amazing if the best case scenario happens.

Confusion is indulgent. It's not necessary. It's not helpful. It doesn't move you forward.

Making decisions is powerful because they will shape the course of your life.

When you stop indulging in confusion, You save time, you take meaningful action, you grow, you'll build your confidence.

Every decision you make is a step toward the person you want to become. Learn to trust yourself, commit to your choices, and know that you're always capable of living into the possibility.

You're capable of creating an amazing life.

Let's go.

Thanks everybody for joining me today.

Thank you for bearing with me. remember to sign up for the get unstuck masterclass on the 27th and the mini course on overcoming limiting beliefs.

The links will be in the show notes.

As well, I invite you to sign up for a free 30 minute mini coaching session. A lot of fun. Bring any topic, let's talk, let's explore the possibilities and get you unstuck and moving forward.

Make a decision or two.

All right. Thank you so much, everybody.

Talk to you soon. Bye bye.

Thank you for listening to This Daring Adventure podcast with your host Trista Guertin.

We hope you enjoyed the tips and conversations on how to get excited about life again.

As always, you can head to tristaguertin.com for additional resources and to book a one on one coaching session.

You can also follow Trista on Instagram at tristavguertin.

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Thanks again for tuning in and we'll see you next time.