Embracing Vulnerability: It's Time to Stop Playing Small

Welcome to this Daring Adventure podcast where we work on bridging the gap between where we are and where we want to be in order to live a bigger and bolder life. In this podcast, we will provide inspiration, tips, and skills you need to make your life the adventure you want it to be. Here's your host, mindset, mentor, and life coach, Trista Guertin.

Trista Guertin: 00:00:25

Hey everybody. Welcome to another episode of This Daring Adventure. My name is Trista Guertin and I am your host. Today, I wanted to talk about putting your work out there. This is one of the things I see some of my clients struggling with, and I know personally I have struggled with this myself. Interestingly enough. Before I started coaching, before I became a coach and started my own business, I probably got away with not thinking too much and just avoiding putting my work out there, right? Because I really didn't have to. And you know, it was easy to buy into the loop in my head saying, I don't really have anything to share. It's not good enough. Who wants to hear from me? Once I became a coach, obviously starting my own business and trying to provide value and to help people, you have to sort of put yourself out there. One of the main ways is using social media. Instagram, Facebook, I guess LinkedIn, TikTok, whatever it may be. I typically use Instagram and Facebook. I've sort of done a little bit of LinkedIn and Pinterest, but I've also written a blog. I continue to post sometimes there. And a year ago I started my podcast, so. On a weekly basis, I am creating material and I am putting it out there for public consumption, and it's not easy. So I know. I know that if you are struggling, if you have doubt, if you're second guessing yourself about putting stuff out there, it's understandable and it's very normal. But today I wanted to dive into why you need to put your work out there and. How to do it to begin, I think the most important reason to put your work out there, particularly if you're a coach, if you are adding value, but even no matter what it is, if it's art, if it's educational, if it's inspiring, it can help someone. It can inspire someone. It can just make somebody feel good. It can be fun. It can change somebody's life. You don't know, and you may never know. I think you need to just understand that you can put something out there and it will touch someone in some way. You may never know. But it really could have an impact on them and on their lives, and I truly believe that that is what happens. I've had some great feedback from the work that I do, but. Most of the time I put stuff out there and I just believe that it's going to make a difference, even if it's not today, maybe, maybe a few years down the road. Who knows? Somebody might stumble upon it and think, wow, this is really helpful. I don't know, but I just believe it, and so I think there is a lot of value in you putting your work out there because it will touch somebody and they're waiting for you. I, one time a coach told me that you know, somebody is waiting out there for your work to touch them, to inspire them, to teach them, to support them, and you have a responsibility if you can do that, to do that. Your people are out there waiting for you. And I will tell fellow coaches that all the time when they are struggling with whether they want to post on social media or do a podcast or whatever it is, there are people out there waiting for you. You can help someone. You have the tools, you have the skills, you have the talent, you have the education, you have the skill, whatever it may be, you can help someone. So you have a responsibility to put it out there to help them. Second. I think it is very rewarding personally to create something and to put it out there. Now, it's scary, it's not easy, but I have to say it's highly satisfying in a way that I guess you can kind of imagine, but to actually experience it for yourself is very, Helpful and very, very much a source of pride for me. I never imagined that at this point in my life I would start doing this type of work, and it's a lot of it is an opportunity to be creative, which is something that doesn't. Naturally come to me or I wouldn't have said that I was. And it is a body of work that challenges me, that helps me to grow that I never imagined I would do. And I put it out there and I can look back and I can see what I've created. And it's really amazing. It's really amazing. I feel a lot of pride in what I've done. And in a lot of ways, I feel much prouder of this work that I have done over the past couple of years in my coaching than I have about anything else in my life. So it pushes me, it challenges me, and it uplevels me in so many respects. And it's extremely, extremely satisfying. So if you are thinking that something is missing, something is missing in your life, this could be an answer. It could be that you need an outlet to create something and to put it out in the world. The next point is that creating like this and putting things out in the world is a great opportunity to see what you're capable of. It is, as I said, an opportunity for growth and for evolving. But it helps to see what you are really capable of. And I believe that that is why we're here, to see what we are capable of. Not just to sit and stagnate, tread water, watch Netflix. It's like, let's get out there. Let's do something. Let's create something and really start to. Evolve and to grow and to see what is possible for ourselves and for our lives, and creating something like this and putting it out in the world opens you up. It opens you up in ways that you never imagined. It creates new connections. It creates new opportunities. It creates further ideas. And it, it just builds on itself in a way that you can't imagine now. My life feels so much bigger than it did before, and I think it's really about creating something, putting it out in the world, and just to keep, keep repeating that process. So how can you do this? It's not necessarily something that is intuitive. It's not something necessarily that comes naturally. It's not something that necessarily we are born comfortable doing. Right. That's very clear. It does take a certain degree of courage and vulnerability to put your work and yourself out there for other people to see. And there's no secret, there's no sort of magic bullet that is gonna make it easy, easy for you to do this. But I think starting small and keeping it easy for yourself is one of the best ways to do it. I started off doing just really fun little posts. Occasionally on Instagram I would do quotes. I would do just short little written texts just to put something out there and to sort of get used to it. I still don't do a lot of reels. I don't do a lot of putting myself. In a video and, and putting and posting it. It's something that I think about every single week. It's like, oh, I should really do this and do one But if you can start small and pick one or two easy topics that you're really comfortable with. Put a quote, whatever it is that feels easy for you. I think that's a fantastic way to start and sort of dip your toe in the water and build up your comfort level. Next. It's important to identify your fear. Don't keep it vague. If you are afraid that somebody's gonna criticize you, if somebody is going to try and cancel you, if somebody's going to try and judge you, put things in the comments, whatever it is, identify what that is and be very specific first, and then you need to ask yourself. Okay, so what, what if somebody does put a negative comment in the Instagram comments? What will I think, what can I control? How will I feel? And what you want to understand is that you cannot control if somebody. Puts a negative comment in your, in your comments. I mean, I guess you could turn off the commenting option, but once it's happened, you have the power to decide what you wanna think about it and what you want to make it mean. And you don't have to take on anybody's comments or anybody else's thoughts. That's their thoughts, that's their interpretation. And you may have a reaction, you may feel disappointed, you may feel frustrated, you may feel humiliated. You may feel sad when you first see this comment, but understand that that is because of what you're thinking about that comment and what you're making it mean. So you want to understand what you're making it mean. You want to allow for that emotion and process it, understanding that it is a choice. It is because of what you're thinking, and you wanna just allow it to be there, process it through, and know you're going to survive. And if you can imagine this right now, that no matter what emotion comes up for you, it won't kill you. It won't hurt you physically. You can experience it and get to the other side and be okay. And the worst that will happen is you experience this emotion. So if you can think that through ahead of time to be clear, what specifically are you afraid of? What are you worried about? Go through it. What are you making it mean? What emotion do you think you will experience and how can you allow for that and process it to get through it and know that you will not be hurt? If you look at some of the work of Brene Brown about vulnerability and shame you, she talks a lot about the importance of authenticity and of being true to yourself. And that includes emotional availability means opening up emotionally so you can connect with others on an emotional level. You're opening up, putting your work out there is opening up, making yourself vulnerable, opening up emotionally. Connecting emotionally with others, but knowing that no matter what happens, no matter what you experience, you can get through it, you can experience it, allow it, process it, move through it, and then survive and it won't kill you. And this is all a part of the human experience. You have to understand that fear. Is normal. Our brain is meant for survival. It's not meant for success. It is meant to keep us alive. And so it works on the premise that it wants to keep us afraid because the fear will keep us safe. It will keep us from. Putting ourselves out there, and this worked great when we were living in a cave, but now it holds us back. It keeps us from putting ourselves out there and growing and expanding and leading a bigger life. You want to then remind yourself when you experience this fear that you are safe, that nothing has gone wrong. And that the discomfort and the fear is going to be there no matter what you do, no matter how many times maybe you go to the next level and challenge yourself. The fear and the discomfort will always be there, but that doesn't mean stop. You can allow for it and get through it as well. And that's the key to creating what you want, is allowing for the fear and the discomfort. You don't have to get rid of it. You don't have to change it. You can challenge. You can channel courage, right? Think thoughts that create that feeling of courage in you in order to take the next step, in order to take the step that you need to put yourself out there. Just remember always, always whatever emotion comes up to allow it and to process it. And sometimes when you are preparing to put your work out there, it might help to do a little visualization. To sit and to think and imagine creating something, whether it's it's in written, a written form or a video or a post. And imagine creating it, sitting there and then getting ready to post it or to send it out or to, to share it. And imagine how you want to feel in that moment. Is it calm? Is it focused? Is it determined? And. Activate that feeling in you. So imagine that you're sitting at your desk, you're working at your laptop, you're writing that blog post, and then you're getting ready to put it on your website. How are you feeling? Truly activate that feeling so that you feel that moment of pride or determination or calm. Visualising this will activate that in your brain as well, and your brain doesn't know the difference so that it will want to close the gap. It will want to make that a reality when next time you are sitting at your laptop, writing your blog post, getting ready to put it on your website. So taking that time to visualize that. Oftentimes I will do some visualization in the morning and in the evening before bed. For what I wanna do, what I wanna create next. I've talked about this before. It is adopting a growth mindset. Going back to the work of Dr. Carol Dweck and her book Mindset, the New Psychology of Success. We want to adopt a growth mindset in order to, in order to overcome obstacles and to see them as opportunities. We don't want to keep a fixed mindset because this is what keeps us in trying to strive for perfectionism. With a growth mindset, we see the opportunities. We try to do our best. We know that next time we will keep growing or we will keep learning, we will keep improving, and that is the process. That is what we want to strive for. And so if we make a mistake, if we fail, if we have something to learn and to improve, this is not a threat. This is not something that is wrong with us. This is a part of the process, and regardless, we are moving ourselves forward, trying to keep things perfect, trying to make them perfect, trying to make everybody happy, trying to make everything the very best keeps you stuck. It will keep you from putting yourself out there. It will keep you from growing and learning and evolving, and so just know that we always have an opportunity to grow and to learn, and putting ourselves out there, putting our work out there is a part of that process. It never has to be perfect. I Think about it as a tool that you are using for your business or for your art, and an opportunity to connect with others next. Get some support. Sometimes surrounding yourself with others who are in the same business or in the same art or doing something similar to what you are doing can give you somebody to talk to, to use as a sounding board to to get that support and it can help to inspire you as well sometimes looking at what your colleague is doing, not to see whether it's better. No comparison here. That's not the purpose, but just to get some inspiration. And to see what is possible and to know that if they can do it, then you can do it too. Having that support, looking for opportunities to get that support can be really important. And sometimes that can come from a coach, sometimes that can come from a mentor, sometimes that can come from a colleague. That also can be helpful to generate and brainstorm ideas to get some feedback. And an opportunity to talk through some of your fears and what's holding you back. Finally, if you do face some failure or some disappointment, maybe you put something out there and nobody's looking at it. Maybe there is a negative comment. Whatever it is, face the failure, but don't make it personal Does not mean anything about your worthiness or your value as a person. Your worthiness, your value as a person is a hundred percent. It does not come from your work. It does not come from your relationships. It does not come from your art. It comes from a decision that you make about yourself and that you know. And you embody and you live it. But if you put something out there that nobody is seeing or nobody is reading, or nobody is saying anything about, that's okay. You don't have to even see it as a failure. You don't have to make it mean anything about you personally because it's not personal. Understand that. It's not an easy task to put your work out there and to make yourself vulnerable and to show people what you're doing, but set yourself some goals. Push your creativity, have fun with it, and keep showing up. Keep practicing, keep working on it. It will get easier, It's normal to feel nervous and, and insecure and vulnerable and uncomfortable. When you're putting your work out there, when you're even thinking about putting your work out there. It's normal. Everybody goes through it. You're not alone, I promise you. Everybody who is putting their work out there has experienced this at some point, be patient with yourself and celebrate your progress. Celebrate your wins. Look back at the things that you've accomplished over the past month, the past week, the past quarter, whatever it is, and celebrate those. Celebrate yourself. Be proud. Never compare yourself to others. This is, not a comparison. You are unique. Your work is unique. It's just as important as anybody else's, and it's needed out there. It can really touch somebody. It can really be valuable. It can inspire someone. It can change their life. You never know for sure, but just get some support, have fun, focus on the process. And see what you're capable of. It's not to be more worthy. You're already a hundred percent worthy, but let's see what you're capable of. Let's see what you can do with this life. That's what I have for you today. Put your work out there. Get on Instagram. Publish your blog post. Put out that video on TikTok. Whatever it is, it's needed. Somebody is waiting out there for it. Trust that you're going to inspire someone, you're going to help someone, someone's going to enjoy it. If you're interested in trying coaching for yourself, I will put the link to my calendar and the show notes please. Pick a time. Let's talk. It's a great opportunity for you to work on your life, get some support, and make some progress on whatever issue you wish. That's what I have for you this week. Thanks everybody. Talk to you next week. Take care. Bye-bye.

Thank you for listening to This Daring Adventure podcast with your host, Trista Guertin. We hope you enjoyed the tips and conversations on how to get excited about life Again. As always, you can head to trita ger.com for additional resources and to book a one-on-one coaching session. You can also follow Trista on Instagram at tristavguertin. Don't forget to subscribe, rate and review us on Apple Podcast. Thanks again for tuning in and we'll see you next time.