How to Change Your Life This Year

Welcome to This Daring Adventure podcast, where we work on bridging the gap between where we are and where we want to be in order to live a bigger and bolder life.

In this podcast, we will provide inspiration, tips, and skills you need to make your life the adventure you want it to be. Here's your host, mindset mentor and life coach Trista Guertin.

Welcome to 2025 and welcome to This Daring Adventure.

I am your host Trista Guertin, and I am excited to be here at the beginning of this year. I am recording this actually on January 2nd. And I am excited about the year ahead. I have lots of big plans personally, professionally, and I hope you will join me.

I am planning to do a number of webinars and group coaching sessions and, of course, offering all of my one to one coaching programs. I have a 2025 Change Blueprint Workshop, which is a bit of a mouthful. I might change that name. But anyway, it's a 2025 workshop on January 12th, and that's a Sunday. It's going to be Sunday morning, 11 a. m. Eastern Time. I'll put the link to register in the show notes. It's going to be an actionable workshop where I will be giving you some questions to ask yourself and things that you can work on to help you prepare for the year ahead.

And I'll see you there. I am also doing a group coaching session on January 23rd. And I will also include the link to register for that. That is a free group coaching session. You can come bring any issue, any question you have and get coached. I will also do a little bit of teaching during that workshop or that, that session. So it will be interesting and useful for you.

And I'm also doing my Get Unstuck webinars on a regular basis. These are the overviews of my pro my program, basically. My Six week jumpstart to building a better relationship with yourself. And next week, I'm also going to be introducing an expanded program, which will be probably about 12 sessions. It will take the work that we do in the six week jumpstart, but expand it. I will be adding a few things. We'll be doing a deeper dive into some of the other topics. And I think it will just be a really unique experience. One that will truly help you to get to know yourself better, create that calm, that clarity, that confidence that you're looking for. And which will help you to get unstuck. You want to make changes that are sustainable and move yourself towards creating the life that you want. this is how we do it.

So keep your eyes and ears open for that. That can be found in my link tree, but I will. I will put the link to the link tree so that you will have access to that and register for that Get Unstuck, and register for that Get Unstuck webinar if you're interested.

And I will also include the link to the Overcoming Limiting Beliefs mini course. That is still available. And I've had a lot of people register for that, and I think it's a really concise but compelling and interesting course that gives you a great overview of what limiting beliefs are, how they're holding you back, and how you can start to move beyond them and start to shift and change them.

All right. I also, sorry, one more thing, have, I started offering possibility calls. So previously I was offering free coaching sessions, I've been offering mini sessions, I've been offering consults.

What I've done here now is introducing a possibility call and I will go into that at the end of the episode and the link to sign up for that will also be in the show notes. I'm excited about this. I think it's a great opportunity and I'm hoping that I will meet a lot of you in those sessions.

Try it out. It's free. It's 50 minutes. It's one to one with me. So it's a great opportunity to get coached. All right, so on to today's episode and it is how to change your life.

Obviously starting out the beginning of the year, 2025, everybody has New Year's resolutions and things they want to change, habits they want to create, which is great. But I think we've all been there before. We have all made the resolutions, decided what habits we wanted to change and failed, maybe, like not carried through, given up a bit, maybe. And so I wanted to talk about that and give you my take and what I've learned about how you can make sustainable changes and, and how you can make sustainable changes because, you've not failed because you're lazy or you're unmotivated or you're broken.

But, most of the time, when we set New Year's resolutions, when we decide we want to make changes, we don't address the root cause. We say we want to get in shape, and so we sign up for a gym membership and, start, okay, we're going to go to the gym. But, the action that we're taking in terms of signing up for the gym and going to the gym is only part of the equation and usually that's the only part that we focus on, and therefore, after a while, we, it peters out, it, it just we lose our motivation, we lose our discipline and we give up.

So we're going to talk about that today in a way that will give you some guidance as to what does work. And this is the work that we do in coaching. if you want to learn more about this, if you want to take this work to a deeper level, of course, this is the work that we do in my one to one sessions.

But, let's explore this powerful framework that, can really help you to transform your life.

And, I love the beginning of the year. I love the thought of a brand new year, starting over, starting fresh, and all of the possibility that exists within the next 12 months, and imagining what I can accomplish and what changes I can make and how I can grow and evolve over the next when you can fully understand this framework and apply these principles, I think you will, I think, I know you will be able to create meaningful and lasting change.

Alright, without further ado, let's get started. Many of us approach life as if, we're merely observers or that it's like happening to us.

But the truth is, we're not just watching the world, but we are active creators. And we do, we interpret things through a lens of what we've been taught and what we've experienced. And what if this year, instead of just passively accepting what we've always known, we actively question and expand our awareness, And that's where self awareness and cognitive control come in.

This isn't just about controlling your thoughts, but paying attention to them. And we want to look at whether our thoughts are working for us, or if they're holding us back. we also want to look at emotional strength, What have we been taught about our emotions?

And how many of us were taught how to process our emotions without fear? Because let me tell you, when you can do that, you start making decisions from a place of clarity rather than chaos. then we look at behavioral and habit management and tie it all together.

So you're looking at The self awareness and cognitive control, you're looking at emotional strength, and then behavioral and habit management. It's not enough to want to change behaviors, like exercising more or eating better, without addressing the underlying thoughts and feelings that are driving them. Otherwise, you end up stuck in a cycle of trying and giving up all because your brain craves consistency and will resist change. So understanding those three pillars, self awareness and cognitive control, emotional strength and behavior and habit management and how they are constantly interacting with each other.

And understanding this interplay is the key to changing your life for good. Making sustainable changes, transforming your life, growing and evolving and going to the next level. And if you want to make substantial changes over the next 12 months, this is what you need to do. Often change feels elusive because we're just focusing on the external circumstances like jobs, relationships, or habits, right?

We need to get a new job.

We need to change houses.

We need to find a new partner. And then we will feel better. Then we will be doing better. Then will be happy. But the truth is, the key to change is always within us. It's in how we think, and it's how we feel, and it's how we act.

We want to look at how circumstances, thoughts, feelings, actions, and results all interact.

We want to look at why emotional strength and self awareness are foundational.

And I'm going to look at a step by step guide to creating sustainable change over the next 12 months. And this will be your roadmap for turning this year into the year that everything changed. How exciting is that? The year that everything changed. I'm going to write that down. I'm going to use that in other places too, So let's start with self awareness and cognitive control. this is basically managing your mind. I talk a lot about managing your mind or mindset work, thought work, but this is where we start.

Because here's the thing, circumstances are neutral. And circumstances are the facts of your life that everyone agree on. You could argue for it. You could prove it in a court of law.

For example, I have a job or it's raining today, but here's where it gets interesting.

The way you think about those circumstances. is what creates your feelings. for example, you might think I hate this job and feel frustrated.

Or you might think this rain ruins my day and feel annoyed. But you could also think this job pays my bills and so you're not feeling so frustrated.

Or the rain is cozy. A lot of people like rain and you will feel completely different emotions. And this is the foundation of creating change. Understanding that your thoughts, not your circumstances, are what create your feelings. And your feelings will drive your actions, which ultimately create your results.

So let's do a little bit of a deeper dive here. Your circumstances are things that are out of your control. Your partner, your job, your health, your finances, even world events.

A lot of them you don't have control over, You can't control your partner. You might not be able to control whether you have a job or not. You might not, you might lose your job, for instance. You might get sick.

Circumstances are neutral. They are always neutral. It's our thoughts about them that give them meaning. It's how we're interpreting them.

For instance, world events might leave you feeling helpless, but recognizing how you think about those events is where change begins. I often give the example of a book, because I've experienced where I have read a book and loved it, given it to a friend to read, and she hated it. And vice versa. I've read books that my friends have read, and they loved it, and I couldn't stand it. It's not the book, It's my interpretation. It's the way I'm looking at it. It's the way I'm thinking about it.

The second is your thoughts. Thoughts are the sentences running through your mind about your circumstances.

These are sentences like, This is too hard. Or, I can't do this. Which create your reality.

But here's the good news. You can choose your thoughts. I know sometimes it probably doesn't feel that way, but it's true.

They come very quickly. A lot of them are a habit. They just, are on autopilot. They just show up and you think they're just coming from somewhere, but no, you are actually creating them And when you can shift a thought from, I'm not good enough, to, I'm figuring this out, everything can change.

Next are your feelings. Feelings are vibrations in your body caused by your thoughts. Thoughts like, I'm stuck, can create frustration, while thoughts like, I'm learning, can spark motivation. Your feelings will drive your actions. So learning to manage them is absolutely crucial.

It's one of the most important skills I've ever learned.

Next you have your actions, or inactions, which stem from your feelings.

So if you're overeating, or over drinking, or procrastinating, or endlessly scrolling on social media, or not going to the gym, or watching hours of Netflix, these behaviors are often attempts to avoid uncomfortable feelings.

We eat so that we don't feel, we drink so we don't feel, we shop so we don't feel. Feel by addressing the thoughts and feelings driving these actions, you can create new healthier habits and you can create change and you can show up differently.

Then you have your results, So we've gotten circumstances, thoughts, feelings, actions, and these all create your results. Your results are the direct outcome of your actions. strained relationships, unfinished projects, or self neglect are often the result of unmanaged thoughts and feelings. But when you align your actions with intentional thoughts, the results can be transformative.

And all of this is basically found in the model that Brooke Castillo uses at the Life Coach School and which I learned as a part of my coach certification. And I don't teach this a lot, but I'm going to be teaching it more this year. But this is Basically, the framework that we use for greater awareness of why we're getting the results that we are in our lives, what the root causes are, and then we can use this newfound awareness to make changes, to make shifts from what's not serving us, what's not helpful, to something that is more helpful.

This process is extremely powerful. Most of us try to change our lives by focusing on just one area, like dieting or quitting a bad habit, without considering how the other elements interact.

That's why change often feels temporary or like a constant uphill battle.

But when you can understand how circumstances, thoughts, feelings, actions, and results influence one another, change becomes not only easier, but sustainable. And this is the foundation of creating really truly lasting change.

Understanding that your thoughts, not your circumstances, are what create your feelings. You're not at the effect of your life, it's not what's happening out there, but that you are creating it. And your feelings will drive your actions, which will create your results.

And if the world is influencing you more than you're influencing it, change will feel impossible, but when you realize that your life is the result of your influence, your thoughts, your feelings, and your actions, that's when you really step into your power.

That's when the rubber hits the road and you're able to make some real changes in your life. And by mastering these five elements, you move from the feeling like life is happening to you to realizing that life is happening because of you. And that's where the transformation begins.

So that's the model. It's a framework for change. It gives us great awareness. And when we can use it to consciously manage our thoughts, we can create intentional results.

So every life, no matter who you are or what you're experiencing consists of those five components, circumstances, thoughts, feelings, actions, and results.

And those elements are constantly interacting with each other. And understanding this is the key to transformation, so start noticing some of your automatic thoughts.

Gain that awareness what is my brain offering me? And are they helpful? Or are they holding me back? Are they keeping me stuck? Just be aware that all of these thoughts are optional.

Next, we want to look at the emotional strength.

Your feelings are not problems. They are not problems to be solved. But they are signals. And they point to what you're thinking. so for example, instead of thinking, I feel anxious, so something is wrong with me, you could try, I feel anxious because I'm thinking about something I can't control. That's okay. I can handle this. Building emotional strength means allowing yourself to feel everything. And Feel it without judgment. This shifts your decisions from being reactive to intentional. Most of us are trying to avoid or fix negative feelings. But they're not problems.

Feelings are not problems. And we run into trouble when we're, when we avoid them. Or try to fix them. But feelings like sadness, frustration, or even fear are just signals.

And they're telling you what's going on in your mind.

When you learn to allow your feelings. To feel them without judgment, you build that emotional strength and resilience. once you understand that connection between thoughts and feelings and actions, you start, you want to start to build that emotional strength. And emotional strength is about allowing yourself to feel everything.

Both the good and the bad without being overwhelmed. It's not about ignoring your emotions or pretending to be happy all of the time. It's about being okay with whatever you're feeling and still moving forward.

Allowing it, being with your emotions, and then you keep going. The next time you feel uncomfortable, just take a moment. Pause, get in touch with what you're feeling. Can you name that feeling? And then just allow it to be there. Feel it. Don't try to change it.

Don't do something to take your mind off of it. Just allow it to be there. And once you've done that for just a few minutes, just sitting quietly feeling it, you can ask yourself, what is the thought creating this?

Get in touch with what you're feeling and then what the thought is that's creating it. There's no rush here. Allow yourself to feel it first. Learning to feel your feelings instead of running from them will change everything.

Trust me, this is one of the most important things that I've ever learned. It gives you the power to stay calm. and take action no matter what happens. I think it's really important here to say a word about your brain and your potential, because we have to understand that we have this primitive part of our brain that is designed to conserve energy, avoid pain, and seek pleasure, which is really great for survival. This is what we use when we are living in caves, but it's not so great when you're trying to change and when you're trying to grow and really to go to that next level to create real change You need to engage your prefrontal cortex. This is a really simplistic explanation of the brain.

So just bear with me. But the prefrontal cortex is the part of our brain that has evolved and is more sophisticated It is responsible for planning and goal setting It's the part of the brain that you use to think about what you're thinking about And the most important process begins with daily attention to yourself and those five key elements that I mentioned before, circumstances, thoughts, feelings, actions, and results, understanding your thought feeling baseline, and observing your brain, like what are you thinking, evaluating the connection between what you're thinking, what you're feeling, how it's driving your actions, and what results it's creating.

And you can use the model for that awareness. this self awareness reveals how some of your unconscious beliefs, shaped by maybe society, upbringing, experiences, are creating your reality. it's the primitive part of your brain, and it's your upbringing, it's your experiences, it's your programming from society, and your parents and caregivers that, that are helping to create how you experience the world.

And so life isn't just happening to you, but it's being shaped by your thinking and your feelings, most of which, probably right now, all of which is unexamined. Your brain, while very efficient, often operates on autopilot, running outdated programs. In order to change, you must consciously decide what you want, and then take charge of your thoughts, feelings, and actions. Decision making and emotional resilience are foundational. Embracing all emotions, including discomfort, allows you to move forward with purpose and create meaningful, sustainable change. But this will really require conscious effort to make decisions that empower you and shift you from living to a default life to living intentionally and aligning, what you want. and your goals.

So your world, your life is not just happening to you, but you are creating it. Again, it may not feel like that right now, but once you truly understand how the world works and view it through a lens using, create that awareness by using the model circumstances, thoughts, feelings, actions, and results, then You can start to make changes. You want to question your awareness.

Many people are unconsciously judging rather than objectively observing the world. And they're limiting their perspective to what you, what they've been taught. How they've been brought up. How they've been programmed. What they've experienced. You want to learn how to build skills, emotional processing, cognitive control, the mindset work, and habit management are essential for sustainable change, lasting change.

Without aligning your thoughts and emotions, behavioral change will fail because there will be that cognitive dissonance, right? You will not be changing the root cause. You will still be thinking the same thoughts even though you're trying to do different actions and it's too hard in the long run. You need to overcome stagnation.

The brain works on a motivational triad of seeking pleasure, avoiding pain, and being as efficient as possible. It wants to keep things the same. It wants to exert as little energy as possible. It wants to be comfortable.

But this is counterproductive for growth. you want to use your prefrontal cortex to be intentional about what you're thinking, create those feelings, drive those actions to just get beyond survival mode that primitive part of your brain wants to keep you in.

Understanding gratitude and how important it is versus ambition.

Gratitude can exist with the desire for more. You can be grateful for what you have and still want more. There's a part of us in society that thinks if we want more we're being ungrateful.

But that's never true. You can be very grateful, and in fact you need to be grateful for what you have. But it's okay to want more, it's okay to want to grow, it's okay to want to see what's possible for your life. You want to understand how important your capacity is versus your current ability. While your current ability may be the starting point, it's ultimately your capacity to be. That represents the untapped potential for growth and for greatness and for evolvement. Growth requires continuous learning and discomfort. You don't need to have all of the ability right now to change and to grow, but you need to have that capacity. You need to be willing to keep learning.

You need to be willing to feel the discomfort.

Most of us try to avoid feeling the discomfort.

And that's very much a function of our primitive part of our brain. Don't exert that energy. Don't change. Don't risk it. Don't make me learn anything new or do anything hard. But your capacity is unlimited and so that's what you need to tap into. And we want to be consciously evolving each year. And this is what I think, especially, I think that's what appeals to me so much about the beginning of the year, is that we can decide to consciously evolve, rather than stagnate, rather than just buffering, rather than just keeping things the same. Most people will choose to keep things the same.

Most people will give in to the fear. You can decide right now not to stagnate, not to stay the same, but to consciously evolve. And we always want to explore the possibilities.

Oftentimes, our programming is very limited. Combine that with our primitive desire to fit in, to conform, to be the same. We don't want to be ostracized. We don't want to lose our tribe, and we also want to meet the expectations of others. We want the approval of others. If we can start, and this is the work that we do in coaching, what are the possibilities for our lives? What exists that we never thought of before?

Expanding our consciousness around this unlocks a broader range of life possibilities and directions. You have unlimited capacity, and you have unlimited possibilities.

And you combine those two with the model, with the awareness, with The ability to tap into what you're thinking intentionally, creating those feelings, driving those actions. That's how you create the results that you want in your life.

And so you want to embrace intentional growth and reject the complacency that we've been stuck in for years and years and pursue your capacity.

Pursue a life of fullness and curiosity and determination.

Don't just stagnate, don't just give in, just don't repeat. And this is what you can do this year. I want to challenge you to think about your capacity, not just your current ability. Your current ability, where you are now, is the best you've been up until today, but your capacity is unlimited, and that's what you could create, that's where you could go if you allow yourself to grow.

Too often we limit ourselves to what we've already achieved, what we did in the past, or what we think is possible.

But what if your capacity is far greater than you ever imagined and I tell you that it is. And this kind of thinking requires continuous learning. It's stepping outside of your comfort zone and embracing the discomfort that comes with growth.

And this is why coaching is so powerful because this is what a coach does with you, pushes you outside your comfort zone, challenges you to think bigger.

So part of what we do is look at, consistently learning, learning new skills, whether it's mental clarity, emotional strength, or habit management, focusing on gaining new skills, learning and evolving. We want to do the daily work, taking a few minutes each day to do a thought download to look at what we're thinking to clear out our mind and get some perspective and some awareness.

Get your thoughts out of your brain, put them onto paper or your computer. This gives you some space for self awareness and intentionality. It's an important daily practice.

I also recommend other daily practices, but this one is key. You need to get that awareness of what's going on in your brain. And then you can get support, get some accountability, get some coaching help, whether it's one on one or in a group setting. Coaching will provide that perspective and that accountability.

One to one provides that direct support. Group coaching, you can see someone else be coached, which can open your eyes to things you didn't even know you needed to work on. So ask yourself, what's the next small step I can take today and your life is going to be built on those actions that you take today, step by step, bit by bit. And you want to have that daily attention to yourself and those five key elements, understanding that thought feeling baseline, observing your brain and evaluating the connections between your thoughts, feelings, actions, and results. How are you interpreting what's going on? In the world, in your life, and this is what reveals your unconscious beliefs by society, upbringing, experiences, and how they create your reality.

Remember, life is not happening to you.

It's being shaped by your unexamined thoughts and feelings.

And your brain, while very efficient, continues to operate on autopilot. You must consciously decide what you want and take charge of your thoughts and your feelings and your actions.

So imagine this. Imagine what your life could look like in one year.

You wake up confident, knowing your thoughts are working for you, not against you. You're able to face challenges with calm strength and clarity, allowing your emotions without being overwhelmed. And you've created habits that align with your values and goals.

You've made changes that are sustainable. And you've learned tools and skills that will last you a lifetime. And this is the life that's waiting for you when you apply these principles. It's really important to cultivate that self awareness, that emotional resilience, and that mindset, that cognitive control, to break free from societal pressure, limitations and programming, as well as those mental limitations the limitations that are placed on us by our primitive brain, meaning primitive brain, meaning most of the time societal programming. I'm not quite sure it's always well meaning, we need to have that awareness of what's going on and then we can start to shift away from it and make changes. We want to challenge the default mode of living, but dictated by survival instincts and inherited beliefs and programming. Advocating for intentional growth and tapping into your unlimited capacity. And this is why I love New Year's, because this is your chance to rewrite your story.

And by the end of the year you can look back and barely recognize the person you once were.

This is the work that we do in coaching.

This is why it's so exciting.

This is why I want to share it with everybody. Your circumstances don't define you. It's your thoughts that do. And we want to embrace unintentional growth, reject complacency, and pursue the fullness of life with curiosity and determination. so when you practice this system, when you learn these tools and skills, amazing things start to happen. You might find yourself feeling less anxious and more in control, taking consistent action towards your goals, building stronger, more connected relationships, creating more time for what you love, and feeling confident in your ability to handle anything.

But most of all, you will be creating whatever it is you want.

So what's possible for you this year? What could you create if you believed in your capacity to grow?

These are the questions that I want you to sit with as we step into the new year.

Join me for the 2025 Change Blueprint Workshop on the 12th. And we're going to do some of this work together.

And then join me on a possibility call.

This is the year that you could transform your life. Starting right now. I love this. It's January 2nd. Let's go. If you're ready to take this deeper, I'd love to help you through coaching. And together we, we get you unstuck, you get unstuck for good and you create the life that you want. One thought, one feeling, one action at a time, And so during this free 50 minute possibility call, one to one, we identify where you are now and where you want to be, uncover what's holding you back and solve for it, and then create a personalized plan to get you unstuck and move you forward. Schedule your call.

The link is in the show notes and let's make this year your year of transformation. That's what I'm planning to do and that's what I'm here to help you do. thank you for joining me on this journey.

Thank you for listening to this episode.

Thank you for being here.

Thank you for all the support. I'm closing in on a hundred episodes in a couple of weeks and I'm super excited and super proud of the work that I've done here and how the podcast has grown.

And I am super excited for what comes next. So thank you. And have a great 2025. And I hope to see you soon. Thanks, everybody. Bye bye.

Thank you for listening to This Daring Adventure podcast with your host Trista Guertin. We hope you enjoyed the tips and conversations on how to get excited about life again.

As always, you can head to tristaguertin.com for additional resources and to book a one on one coaching session.

You can also follow Trista on Instagram at tristavguertin.

Don't forget to subscribe, rate, and review us on Apple Podcasts. T

hanks again for tuning in and we'll see you next time.