Managing Doubt

Welcome to This Daring Adventure podcast, where we work on bridging the gap between where we are and where we want to be in order to live a bigger and bolder life. In this podcast, we will provide inspiration, tips, and skills you need to make your life the adventure you want it to be. Here's your host mindset mentor, and life coach Trista Guertin.

Hey everybody, welcome back to This Daring Adventure. I'm your host Trista Guertin, master certified coach, and I have to say it's been a rough week. I had a cold, I was in bed for a couple of days, and then I've had a migraine for a couple of days, so I'm at the tail end of. Thursday now the day that the podcast is supposed to come out and I really haven't had a chance To do this before but at least I'm feeling a bit better tonight. So this will get out And I'm looking forward to having a Nice weekend now that I've survived the week. I'm looking forward also to going back to Canada in July for a visit, so I'm just in the process of planning that. And then moving back to Canada at the end of the year. I'm quite excited about that too.

Anyway, today is going to be a short but sweet video or it's going to be short and sweet on the topic of building belief.

I had a client call last week and she asked me, when does this, the doubt and like, when do we get over this? When do we end it basically, and I said never, ever goes away.

As long as you have a human brain, you have that primitive part of your brain that is seeking pleasure, avoiding pain, and trying to be as efficient as possible and it hates to do work. It hates to learn anything new. It hates change. It's trying to protect you. It's going to use fear. It's going to be scanning for problems. It's going to default to the negative.

And when you set out to go after a new goal, your dreams, A new project, to learn anything new, to start a new job, find a new relationship, it doesn't matter what it is. Your brain is going to tell you no, it's a bad idea, no, you can't do this, no, it's too late, no, it's too hard, I don't have what it takes.

So these are all things that go through my mind regularly, especially when you're first starting out, starting, like when I was starting out as a new coach, when I was starting my business, when I was starting my podcast, when I was starting on social media it really didn't matter what it was all the time. I thought what I was doing was terrible. It wasn't helpful. Nobody was going to listen to it. Nobody was going to buy it. Nobody, was going to like it, it was just crap and I had to work through that and there was a lot of discomfort, a lot of discomfort and it's something that you just have to be aware of first of all, that this is how your brain operates. This is what it offers you. Nothing has gone wrong. It's completely normal and in fact it should be expected. And that you have to spend the time and the cognitive energy to overcome it and to manage yourself through it. And this is truly a daily practice. And what I do is journal and write down what I'm thinking and understand if there are any emotions like strong emotions attached to it, allowing and processing some of those emotions. then consciously and intentionally choosing thoughts that change that emotion to certainty and determination and belief. And it's not something that happens overnight.

You don't go from I don't have what it takes to rainbows and daisies, and I'm slaying this and that's okay. it's a process, but it does work. And every day, bit by bit, you keep doing the work and it makes a difference. It's like learning any other skill. It's like building new muscle. You don't go to the gym one time and say, that's it, I'm done. I've got the muscles that I want. And you don't brush your teeth once and say, that's it. My teeth are clean. I don't have to do it again. you don't weed your garden once and say, that's it, the weeds are gone, so I never have to do that again. It's the same sort of idea. And I think we need to get over that idea that we should be better at this, that it shouldn't be happening, that, we should know better that we shouldn't have to deal with this because it's just a fact.

It's just the way our brain is. And as long as you have a human brain, that's what it's going to offer you. Now, there's going to be some discomfort, especially at the beginning, especially when you're first starting out, when you're doing the work, when you are consciously paying attention to your thinking, getting clear on what's not serving you, what's not helpful. And then being intentional, choosing new thoughts. it will become easier and you will start to build that belief. And when you start to have those thoughts that create a feeling of certainty and determination, then you start to take the action that you need to take in order to create the result that you want. your brain will hate this. your brain will rebel and your brain will keep saying no. And you know what I've had to do, if I put, if I produce a podcast episode and I keep thinking it's crap, I don't want to put it out. I have to take a step back and try and be objective. Okay, are there things that really need to be fixed? Or is it B plus work that can be released into the world? Because I have to overcome that tendency to hold myself back and play it safe and just put it out there because I know putting it out there is what moves me forward towards my goal towards creating what I want. over time, as I do this, the more I do it, the more work I do, the more I show up, the more I keep taking the action, and we talk about massive action, which is just continuing to take action until you reach your goal. Then I start to develop self trust and I believe that I'm going to be able to do it when all that negativity and doubt and discomfort comes up.

When you start a new goal, when you go after your dreams, when you. Create a new life for yourself when you start a new job or go after a new relationship. You're doing it right.

What happens is all that stuff comes up for us and we think that we're, something's gone wrong, that we're doing it wrong, but that's not the case.

You're right on track if that's what's happening for you, and then you just have to do the work to clean it up. And oftentimes what we do is we compare and despair.

We look at others and we believe that they don't experience those thoughts that they didn't have to deal with this, that they've somehow figured it out. But it's not true. They are experiencing the same doubts, the same thinking, the same fear and have overcome it. the work that we do in coaching teaches you those tools. It teaches you those skills of overcoming yourself, managing your mind, managing your emotions, in order to create what it is you want. And the more you work on that belief, the more cognitive energy you invest and time that you invest in building that belief in yourself, the greater your self trust becomes. think about that thing that you want to do.

Why don't you trust yourself to do it? What comes up for you? What's the thoughts? What is your brain offering you?

And that's the work that you need to do. That's what you need to work on. You need to clean up your thinking every single day, just like you brush your teeth, just like you weed your garden, just like you go to the gym. You have a human brain and you will never be done cleaning it up. So do the work, build that belief step by step, bit by bit.

You're never one and done. journal, write it out. Take a look at what is actually a fact. what's all the drama that your brain is adding a fact has to be something you can prove in a court of law it's so if it's a podcast episode for me the facts would be I've recorded a podcast episode that is seven minutes long The rest is all drama. The rest is all drama that my brain is adding whether I sound good whether it makes sense whether it's Enough time, whether it's interesting enough, whether it's helpful, all of that stuff is just in my head. So you cannot listen to the drama.

You cannot listen to everything that your brain tells you and take it on board. You have to choose what is helpful, what is not, what do you want to think intentionally that's going to help you to move you forward.

Do the work every single day. And if you miss a day or two, it's okay to start again.

Start where you are and begin again and you will become better at that as well. That's something that I've learned. I've noticed that I think, once we miss a few days, we tend to think there's no point in starting again.

And you have to, and it takes too much energy to get back to it and why bother, but I promise you, you have to get back to it and it's okay. You haven't lost anything. Just start again.

The only thing between you and what you want is your mind.

And if you can learn how to overcome yourself, overcome that doubt, overcome all of the drama that your brain offers you, that's how you create the life that you want.

If you want to learn more, there's a link to my calendar in the show notes, join me for a consultation. Learn about my new six week jumpstart program to building a better relationship with yourself. I also offer a three month get unstuck program. I teach you all of the skills and tools that you need to approach problems differently in your life and to create whatever it is you truly want and become the person that you want to become. It's life changing.

Coaching changes lives. I hope to see you soon.

Take care everybody. Bye bye.

Thank you for listening to This Daring Adventure podcast with your host Trista Guertin.

We hope you enjoyed the tips and conversations on how to get excited about life again.

As always, you can head to tristaguertin.com for additional resources and to book a one on one coaching session.

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