Managing Your Mind for Better Results

Welcome to This Daring Adventure podcast, where we work on bridging the gap between where we are and where we want to be in order to live a bigger and bolder life. In this podcast, we will provide inspiration, tips, and skills you need to make your life the adventure you want it to be. Here's your host, mindset mentor and life coach Trista G

Hey everybody, welcome back to This Daring Adventure. Thank you for joining me.

I am your host Trista Guertin and today we're going to dive into a topic that is absolutely central to living your best life. It is learning how to manage your mind and this is basically what my life coaching practice centers around. It is talking about getting a grip on those thoughts and feelings that seem to run the show in our lives sometimes. And we're going to try and break it down in a way that's easy and fun and hopefully a little enlightening.

As I said, this is some of the most important work that we do in coaching and it will help you to see how much power you have over what's going on in your mind and therefore what you can create in your life. I think a lot of times we feel like what's going on in our mind is out of our control and that these thoughts just automatically come and there's nothing we can do about them. They do come. They come quickly. Most of them are based on habit. They are something that we can absolutely, though, create intentionally.

And that is some of the most important work that we can do, is to think intentionally. Because when we're thinking intentionally, then that's how we can create any result that we want in our life.

Okay. So let's start with the basics here. We'll start, we'll think of this as mind management 101. And since every journey starts with that first step, here's your first step. You want to understand where your thoughts are coming from. Awareness is key. Understanding is key.

Now, when I say a thought, what I really mean is that sentence that's running around through your mind. The one. Maybe it's saying, I'm hungry, or what on earth is she talking about? It's all good. Whatever that thought is that, keeps running through your mind. Some of you may be more visual thinkers.

Maybe you see pictures instead of words, and that's okay too. But for this exercise, we're going to chat about. But for the exercises we're going to chat about, it's helpful to translate those images into words, like adding captions to your mental pictures. So where do those thoughts come from?

I like to think about it in three layers of influence. It sounds fancy, but it's not. The first layer is evolutionary biology. we can think of our brain as this ancient multi layered cake.

The oldest layer is all about survival. Think of it as the keep me alive software. If you've listened to other episodes of mine, I talk about the primitive brain, the survival part of our brain.

This is the part of our brain that is basically in charge of making sure that you eat, sleep, and it uses fear so it will make sure that you run away from anything that looks remotely threatening. You've probably heard of fight or flight, and that's the primitive part of your brain's job. This survival brain is It's like a super overprotective sibling or parent who freaks out about everything. It tends to overreact. It uses fear a lot. But here's the thing.

This part of your brain doesn't know the difference between a real threat, so let's say like a real tiger. And the metaphorical tiger of, say, a stressful work deadline. It just sees danger and goes into panic mode. It's trying to protect you. It's trying to keep you safe. And obviously, in this day and age, we probably have very few physical threats to our safety and to our lives. There are some, absolutely. And in some places, it's more intense than others.

But for the most part, again it's a threat of a deadline or an email from your boss or someone not returning your text. It's not so much a real physical threat as a tiger jumping out behind a tree. Now, We're going to add this second layer to our brain cake. And it is the one that's like a sponge that soaked up everything you learned as a kid, whether it was your parents, your siblings, or whoever raised you, their words and their actions helped shape the thoughts you have now. Maybe you grew up hearing, you've got to work hard to succeed or don't talk to strangers, or money doesn't grow on trees.

These ideas sink in deep and become the scripts your brain plays on repeat. it's like your brain's playlist and some of those songs have been on there since you were like five. They might not be all your favorite tunes but they're there influencing how you think today.

Our brain is not fully developed until the age of 25. So it's, as I said, it's a sponge that soaked up everything and we tend to internalize these things and our brain is basically trying to learn and to understand and process the world around us. it does the best it can. And these things stay with us because nobody teaches us that we can change them, but they will, if you let them continue to influence you and shape your life today. The third layer is society and culture.

This is the world outside your family, the big wide universe of school, media, social norms, religion, and all those societal expectations. It's the part of your brain that's been shaped by everything from the shows you watched as a kid to the ads you see every single day, the magazines we read, the movies we watched, and even the cultural rules about who you should be and how you should act. If you ever thought, "I should really have my life together by now", or, "why don't I look like that model?" That's society doing its thing. It's like your brain's been programmed by all of these external influences without you even realizing it. Why should we care about all of these layers? Because understanding where your thoughts come from gives you the power to change them. Your brain is like this super messy, overcomplicated program that's been pieced together by biology, your family, and society.

And because it's so chaotic, it's no wonder that we feel overwhelmed or stuck. But the good news is that just because your brain has been programmed one way, it doesn't mean it has to stay that way. You get to rewrite the script. We know about neuroplasticity.

We know that we can learn new things no matter what our age is. We know that we can rewire our brain. No matter what the beliefs you have, no matter what thoughts you have on repeat.

And we do have up to 60, 000 thoughts per day. most of them are just repeat. They are just exactly the same thoughts you had the day before. Think about it. If a thought is just a sentence in your mind, and that sentence was shaped by a bunch of stuff outside of your control, then it's not some unchangeable truth. It's more like a suggestion your brain is offering up, and you get to decide whether to keep it or to toss it.

If it's helpful for you, keep it. If it's not helpful for you, then I say, get rid of it, change it. And that's literally the basis of how you can decide what you want to think. You want to be intentional. You want it to serve you. You want it to be helpful. There are no bonus points for suffering. there are no bonus points for thinking thoughts that make you feel terrible.

Let's take an example. Imagine you've got a big presentation coming up and your brain starts churning out thoughts like, what if I totally bomb this and everyone's going to think I'm a fraud. These thoughts are just sentences your brain came up with, influenced by all those layers we talked about. In particular, your brain is using fear to keep you safe and It's not helpful. So you can challenge those thoughts. You can decide instead to think, I've prepared well and I've got this. Or you could think, it's okay to feel nervous, but I'm going to do my best. You probably feel a lot better, right? And this is the magic of thought work.

By changing the thought, you can change how you feel.

And imagine how differently you will show up for that presentation. Now, to go back to feelings, let's clear up a common misconception. A feeling is not the same as a thought, right? A feeling is a vibration in your body. It's a physical sensation. Like the flutter in your stomach when you're nervous, or the warmth in your chest when you feel happy.

But here's the thing. Feelings are caused by your thoughts. If you're feeling nervous, it's not happening out of the blue. There's a thought behind that feeling. Even if it's sneaky and it's hiding out in your subconscious, there's a reason for it. If we go back to our presentation example, if you're feeling nervous, it's because your brain is playing a thought like, what if I mess up? What if everybody thinks this is terrible? That thought triggers your body to go into anxiety mode.

And so you'll get the physical reaction. You'll feel stressed, you'll get the sweaty palms, a racing heart. But this is where you get to be the boss, by identifying and changing that thought. You can change your feeling. It's like having a remote control for your emotions. It's not that simple but it does give you that control. Do you want to feel more confident? Then switch the thought from I'm going to fail to I've got this. If you want to feel less stressed you try replacing I can't handle this with I'll take it one step at a time. I'm figuring this out. Maybe I know what I'm doing. The thing is you just don't want to swap thoughts and go from, I'm terrible at this and it's going to suck to rainbows and daisies. And this is going to be the most amazing speech ever.

But if you can change the thought to something that is 1 percent better, And something that you feel is better with your body. It has to resonate with you. It has to feel better in your body. Then you can practice that thought. You can put it on a sticky note. You can put it on your phone. You can put it where you're going to see you. I have sticky notes here on my wall in my office, on my phone, on my kitchen cupboards, on my bathroom mirror. Thoughts that I want to practice. So here's the big takeaway. Your thoughts are not facts. You don't have to believe them. And especially if they're not helpful, you don't have to keep them.

They are literally just sentences your brain has come up with. Influenced by a whole bunch of stuff. Biology, family, society. And because they're just sentences, you can change them. And when you change your thoughts, you can change your feelings, which means you can change how you experience the world.

And you change what you are creating for yourself. You can change your results. You have so much more control over your mind than you realize. And it's like you've been handed the keys to your own mental kingdom. I think actually they're the keys to the universe.

The next time you're feeling a little overwhelmed or stuck, remember, this is just your brain doing its best with the programming it's got.

Nothing has gone wrong. There's nothing wrong with you. But you have more power than you realize. You are the one in charge, and you get to decide what stays and what goes. Your thoughts may feel automatic. They may feel that they're happening very quickly and that you have no control over them.

But now that you have this awareness, taking that time to slow down, see what you're thinking and then deciding what it is you want to think instead to be intentional and to practice that thought. If your brain offers you the old thought that you don't want to keep, you offer it the new thought. And you keep practicing and practicing. That's how you rewire your brain. All right, that's what I have for you today. I hope you found this as interesting and helpful as I do.

Remember, your thoughts and feelings are yours to shape. So don't be afraid to play around with them and see what happens. You will be surprised how much more power you have. It takes patience. It takes effort. take some time, but your persistence and consistency will pay off.

Thank you so much for joining me today. If you enjoyed this episode, please be sure to subscribe, leave a review, and share it with a friend who might find it interesting.

If you're interested in learning more about this mind management work and how thoughts create your feelings, and ultimately create the results that you have in your life, I offer consults and you can jump on my calendar and learn more about my programs.

I have my six week jumpstart to building a better relationship with yourself, which does a deep dive into some of this mind management work. It really is the foundation of everything that we want to create in our lives.

And I have a three month Get Unstuck program. I would love to meet you. I would love to talk to you and tell you more about how we can work together and how it can really change your life.

Thanks everybody. I'll talk to you next week.

Take care. Bye bye.

Thank you for listening to This Daring Adventure podcast with your host Trista Gerton. We hope you enjoyed the tips and conversations on how to get excited about life again.

As always, you can head to tristaguertin.com for additional resources and to book a one on one coaching session.

You can also follow Trista on Instagram at tristavguertin.

Don't forget to subscribe, rate, and review us on Apple Podcasts.

Thanks again for tuning in and we'll see you next time.