Moving beyond 'I don't have what it takes'

Welcome to This Daring Adventure podcast, where we work on bridging the gap between where we are and where we want to be in order to live a bigger and bolder life. In this podcast, we will provide inspiration, tips, and skills you need to make your life the adventure you want it to be. Here's your host, mindset mentor and life coach Trista Guertin.

Hey everybody. Welcome to This Daring Adventure. My name is Trista Guertin. I am your host. Thank you so much for joining me today.

This episode is called I don't have what it takes. This is something that comes up with many of my clients and me and I wanted to address it because I think it's really important that when you're going after a big goal, when you're trying to create a new life for yourself, when you're trying to get become a new version of yourself when you are trying to get unstuck.

A lot of thoughts that are not helpful are going to go through your mind from time to time, if not on a daily basis. This doesn't mean anything has gone wrong. It just means it's your brain doing its thing.

The trick is how you're going to respond.

And we have the option to either stay stuck and keep repeating these thought loops over and over again and allowing them to dictate how we show up and what we do and what we create, or we understand what's going on, we allow for them, and then we get intentional about what we do want to think and we move ourselves forward and we end up creating what it is we want to create.

When we are thinking the thoughts, it's not possible for me. I don't have what it takes. These are not true. These are just thoughts that your brain is thinking, and there's probably a reason for it. It's probably something that you picked up.

It's part of our brain's protection mechanism. It uses fear as a tool to keep us safe. It doesn't like change. It doesn't like trying anything new. It doesn't want to learn anything. It just wants to keep repeating the same patterns. And it offers up these thoughts that are quite negative in order to keep us from taking action.

And in effect, we do stay stuck because we believe these thoughts.

But as I said, they're not true and they're not helpful. So we can hear them, we can acknowledge them and we can choose not to make them mean anything. We can choose not to believe them.

We can choose to think something different. the first step is just be aware of what's going on in your brain.

What is the story that it's offering you?

Clue in that when it's telling you it's not possible for me, it's I don't have what it takes. That this is something that you need to pay attention to because it's not serving you. having that awareness wait, what's going on here? And what do I need to pay attention to? You can write, do a thought download, write on paper for five minutes. What are the thoughts about this, about whatever it is you are trying to do, whatever it is you're trying to create? What is this story that you're telling yourself about it? You not having what it takes. And then take a look at those thoughts. Just putting them down on paper gives you a little bit of objectivity and a little bit of a release.

Understand that it's all okay. Nothing has gone wrong. It makes sense.

Somewhere along the lines, your brain has picked this up and it thinks it's protecting you. It thinks that by keeping you scared, by keeping you playing small, it's keeping you safe. nothing has gone wrong. This makes sense that your brain is trying to do this to you, it's trying to protect you. But then, take a look at what you've written down and question it.

Look at some of the thoughts. What are the facts? What's the drama? The facts are going to be things you can prove in a court of law. They are objectively true. Because you can provide evidence. And it's evidence that would be accepted by a judge. Just because it feels true, just because your brain is offering it to you, just because you've thought it over and over again that it's become a belief, doesn't make it true.

Think of what you would need to do to prove it to someone else in a court of law. If you can't do that, then it's drama and your brain loves drama. It loves to add all of its interpretations and stories to what is actually going on, but it doesn't serve you. It's usually not helpful and it's completely optional. You'll want to ask yourself what else might be true? What else could you be thinking?

Next, you wanna pay attention to some of the emotions, like how you're feeling, because if you're feeling anxious, if you're feeling scared, if you're feeling frustrated, you wanna take a few minutes to experience those emotions, don't try to resist them or push them away. React to them. Or numb or buffer them. You don't need to reach for that pint of ice cream or that bottle of wine.

Just allow for them.

Sit with them for a few minutes and feel them.

Close your eyes. Get quiet. Allow for whatever emotion is coming up, name it, breathe into it and focus on the sensation in your body.

Usually it will dissipate after a couple of minutes.

But allowing some of that fear and frustration or disappointment, whatever it is, can help to turn down the dial on the drama.

And therefore, then you can focus on what it is you want to think and what it is you want to create. at this point, you can ask yourself, okay, what do I want to focus on? What do I want to think intentionally?

You don't have to go to rainbows and daisies and the most wonderful happy thoughts that you could ever think.

But choose something that feels a little bit better.

And I mean feels better, like literally in your body it resonates with you, it feels a little bit better than telling yourself, I don't have what it takes.

It could be something simple it's possible I could figure this out. I often use, I'm figuring this out bit by bit. I'm exactly where I'm supposed to be. I'm figuring this out.

Something simple like that can change your physiology. It can change the way you're feeling and when you're feeling differently, you're going to take different actions.

When you're taking different actions, the ones that move you forward, you're going to create the results that you want slowly and surely. You need to do this daily work of cleaning out your brain. You need to look at what you're thinking. You need to look at what you're feeling. You need to be aware of what are the actual facts and what's the drama. If you catch yourself saying, I can't do this. I don't have what it takes. It's not possible for me.

That's your signal that you have work to do. I find that when I do this work daily. the more on track my brain stays. And when my brain is on track, my emotions are on track, my actions follow. that's when I'm moving towards the results that I want to create.

So clean up your brain, allow for any emotions, process them by sitting with them for a few minutes and breathing into them, and then consciously choose a slightly better feeling and thought. What do you want to think and feel instead? What moves you forward towards what it is you want to create? As always, be patient and kind with yourself. No judgment, no beating yourself up.

If one day you don't do the work, start again the next day. Just start where you are and begin again.

But you want to do that work regularly. I know for myself when I'm not doing that work for a few days, my brain goes into the ditch. I don't stay focused. I don't do what I want to do. Take small steps little by little, bit by bit and just keep going.

That's how you create what you want bit by bit, step by step, but you keep going.

Those who don't succeed, are the ones that quit, that give up and stop taking the action because they're believing what their brain is telling them when it says, I don't have what it takes.

Don't be the victim here. I think we play into that, oh, woe is me. It feels somehow, I think it feels good to us in some way that we start to feel sorry for us and we start to feel victimy.

But, look for inspiration on a regular basis, I'm listening to music. I am listening to podcasts. There are certain episodes of podcasts that I have listened to over and over again.

When I need that inspiration, when I need that focus, I watch YouTube videos. I read books and articles. You need to do the work to focus and get that inspiration. And I find the most effective time is usually in the morning. And it sets me up for the whole day.

Listen, it's normal for your brain to offer you those thoughts. It's not possible for me. I'm not good enough. I don't have what it takes. It really is normal, but it's how you respond to it. It's how much stock you put into believing it. Because the more awareness you have, that those thoughts are not true, they're not helpful, and you don't have to believe them, and you have the power to choose new thoughts, is everything.

If you want to learn more about this process, I will put the link to my calendar in the show notes. You can sign up for a consultation, let's talk, you can learn more about my programs. I have an amazing new program, the 6 week jumpstart to building a better relationship with yourself, where you learn some of the skills and tools you need to create better relationships. The life and the relationship that you want with yourself when you have that foundation with yourself that's when everything starts to change That's when you can start to go after your dreams and set the goals for yourself and have the relationships that you want It changes everything.

So Get on my calendar. Let's talk. I look forward to seeing you there. If you think this episode might be useful to someone, please feel free to share it. I would appreciate it.

Otherwise, if you have a moment to rate review or subscribe to the podcast, I would also greatly appreciate it.

Thanks everybody.

Talk to you next week.

Take care. Bye bye.

Thank you for listening to This Daring Adventure podcast with your host Trista Guertin.

We hope you enjoyed the tips and conversations on how to get excited about life again.

As always, you can head to tristaguertin.com for additional resources and to book a one on one coaching session.

You can also follow Trista on Instagram at tristavguertin.

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Thanks again for tuning in and we'll see you next time.