Procrastination is not a character flaw

Welcome to This Daring Adventure podcast where we work on bridging the gap between where we are and where we want to be in order to live a bigger and bolder life. In this podcast, we will provide inspiration, tips, and skills need to make your life the adventure you want it to be. Here's your host, mindset mentor, and life coach, Trista Guertin.

Hi everybody. Welcome back to another episode of This Daring Adventure. Thank you so much for joining me today. I am back to work, back to normal, back at home, and just settling in. I have been working on my jet leg and the heat and humidity here, it feels like a double whammy. Plus, I'm trying not to have too much caffeine, so it, it has been, well, there have been moments where I feel like I'm sort of moving through wet cement, but I'm hoping this is the tail end of it and by Friday or Saturday in another day or two, the, the worst will be over. So bear with me today. If I make a mistake or get a little lost, I will do my best to stay on track. But that's what we have. So today I wanted to talk about overcoming procrastination. This is one of the things. I think we all deal with at at some point, and the greatest problem that I, I see with procrastination is not so much obviously the delay that we, we experience in completing what it is that we want or need to do, but the idea that we are somehow flawed, that this is a character flaw because we procrastinate, and that there is something fundamentally wrong with us. Because we do this, and so I wanted to do a little bit of a deeper dive today into why we procrastinate and, and what we can do about it so that it gives you a little bit of relief and we just ease up on ourselves a little bit so that there's not the additional suffering. You know, when we're procrastinating and then we beat ourselves up for procrastinating. So hopefully this will give you a little bit of, of guidance and a little bit of help. So, why do we procrastinate? Basically what happens is our brain, If you've, if you've listened to this podcast at all, you know that our brain is designed to seek pleasure, avoid pain, and be as efficient as possible. So what this means is our brain is designed for instant gratification. It likes the easy win. It likes to focus on the short term, it likes to focus on getting away with as little effort and expending as little energy as it can. this goes back to our days in the cave. We are talking about using the primitive part of our brain here that was designed to keep us safe, designed to find, it's the part of our brain that is designed to keep us safe, and it kept us alive and evolving. And so the short term wins like finding food, finding water, finding shelter, finding warmth, finding companionship got it a hit of dopamine as well as being as efficient as possible, resting, conserving, ensuring that in the periods where we had to go without meeting our basic needs, we could just survive and expend as little energy as possible. And at the same time, our brain. It gets a reward, it gets a hit of dopamine as a reward when we do something that ensures our survival. So in this case, when it's trying to keep us efficient and can serve energy, it will tell you to put off whatever it is that you want or need to do, and it will get a hit of dopamine when you do this. So if it's, you have a plan to go to the gym at 8:00 AM and 8:00 AM comes along and your brain says, you know what? It's warmer in bed. I'm really comfortable here. We can go to the gym after work. Bing, head of dopamine. If you have to study for an exam, your brain will tell you that you have plenty of time to study, and we put it off until the last minute and every time you put it off, your brain gets another hit of dopamine. It's a small hit of dopamine, but it is enough of a reward to satisfy your brain. And so in order to overcome this procrastination, we have to override our inherent tendencies to seek pleasure, avoid pain, and be as efficient as possible. So it is true that in fact, our nature is working against us in that respect because the most efficient thing to do is to do nothing. So that's why we're always putting things off, which is, is good news because it means that there's nothing wrong with you. This is not a character flaw. This was actually something that kept us alive and kept us evolving. And your brain in effect means well, but it's just not necessary anymore in a lot of respects. And so we are working against how we've been designed. This means that you can stop beating yourself up about procrastinating. It means that you can stop thinking that there's something wrong with you, and you can stop thinking that you are somehow deeply flawed and unable to to change because none of that is true. There are ways in which we can become more proactive and just get things done that we need or want to do. And so I came up with a small list of what we can do in order to help ourselves overcome our natural tendencies to put things off. So the first thing that we can do is to stop thinking that there's something wrong with this. Stop beating yourself up. Stop adding that extra layer of suffering. There is no need to tell yourself that you're doing something wrong, that there's something wrong with you that you'll never be able to change because that's not true. Second, I really want you to take note and understand that this is the way our brain works. This is the way we're designed, this is the way we are operating. And next, you want to understand that in order to overcome the tendency to procrastinate, you will need to use your prefrontal cortex. This is the part of our brain that we use to be rational, to analyze, to plan, and to think about what we're thinking about. And so planning will be an important part of your overcoming procrastination. You can plan ahead what you want to do, put it in your calendar, schedule it, and then when the time comes. You stick to it. You keep your word, you follow through. You honor whatever it is you said you were going to do. Knowing ahead of time and knowing in the moment that your brain is going to offer you the resistance and the option to not do it, and it will give you some sort of option that will be easier. So instead of going to the gym, you stay in bed instead of studying, you watch Netflix, right? And that your brain will get this hit of dopamine when you give in. It will be rewarded. It will feel good, and it will continue this cycle because, It will want more of a reward, and so you will continually face this cycle. Every time that you set something in your calendar and go to do something, now you will gain. Awareness of what's going on, and you will become more and more aware. So you will be able to catch yourself as time goes by, catch your brain and what it is doing, and you will have that understanding that this is what's going on and you can say thank you, and we go anyway, knowing that this is just your brain trying to conserve energy. And sometimes you might want to give in, sometimes you know, you will want to listen to your brain. Maybe it's not the right time, but probably most of the time it is just your brain trying to get out of doing any work. And so the, the more you do this, the greater awareness you will have, the better you will understand what's going on and therefore be able to override it and overcome it. You really need to be patient with yourself in during this process. Know that it is a process and it's a skill that you're going to be building. It's like a muscle you're building to overcome this tendency, and the more you do it, the better you will become. You can look for ways to work with yourself. Calendaring it. Planning ahead is one of the best ways, but if you Google how to beat procrastination, there are a number of little hacks that you can use that will help you in the moment to sort of overcome it. You can gamify it, you can have a two minute rule, like if it, if something's gonna take two minutes to do or less, then you do it immediately. You can do things in chunks, do things for 10 minutes. Sometimes I just give myself like a task, like, okay, like if I need to, to do something, I will say, okay, I'll do five. Like if I need to unpack my suitcase, I'll say like, I will unpack 10 things right now, or sort, you know, Three boxes or do you know, two piles of things. And somehow just, just doing it in batches like that in, in chunks sometimes helps to break it down. There's the Pomodoro technique where you do something for 25 minutes and then you give yourself a break for five minutes and you can start small. You don't need to start for 25 minutes. You can do work for five or 10 minutes and then take a break and then work up to the 25 minutes. So there are a lot of sort of ways that you can explore that may speak to you and may work well with you that, that you can find. next, you want to redirect your brain with your thinking, and instead of telling yourself that you can't do this, that it's not, you know, you're, you're just being lazy that. You know, you're not well organized that this isn't working. Whatever it is that you know, your brain likes to default to the negative, and it likes to look for problems, and it likes to just get into that spiral of all the things that are wrong. Taking the time to redirect it can be really effective and. As always asking yourself what else could be true? What else could be true here? That you are able to, to get to your work, that you are able to take the action that you need, that it's safe for you, right? Instead of knowing that. So choosing thoughts consciously. And sometimes doing this work ahead of time rather than in the moment can be really helpful. You will want to be able to counter some of the negative thinking that will come up in your brain and be prepared to direct your brain towards accomplishing what it is you want. Being able to do the work, to be able to put in the time to get things done, that this is who you are. Now that this is possible. Next you want to be in touch with your emotions, especially if you're procrastinating about something that you're feeling particularly anxious about, or overwhelmed or maybe afraid of. Again, all very normal, your brain is trying to protect you, and so experiencing those emotions. Will happen from time to time. If you can allow those emotions, don't try to resist 'em. Don't try to push them away. Don't tell yourself that you're wrong for feeling them or that it's silly. It's perfectly normal. Nothing has gone wrong. Allowing them to be there will help you to move through it a little bit easier than. Trying to resist them or trying to to change them and allowing can look like just repeating to yourself. I am feeling anxious. This is normal. Nothing has gone wrong. I am safe. I am calm. I am able to face this. I am feeling anxious, and it's okay. All of these things help to calm your nervous system and to reduce the levels of anxiety. So by allowing it and then scripting and just going over some of these lines and you can use whatever you want, create your own script. Use whatever speaks to you, whatever resonates with you, which feels good, and just soothe yourself with those lines whenever the anxiety or the overwhelm or the fear comes up and keep breathing. Keep breathing. If you do any breathing exercises, that can also be really helpful to calm yourself in the moment. I like to do box breathing. Inhale for four, hold for four, release for four, hold for four again, and then repeat. You can do that a couple of times and it's amazing how effective it is. It just, Calming your system, and in that way you'll be able to bring your prefrontal cortex back online and you'll be able to reason again with your brain and understand what's going on. That is nothing wrong with experiencing the fear and the overwhelm and the anxiety when you think about something that you need to do, but. You can overcome it. It knowing that it's just your brain and then calming your nervous system by allowing it and then doing the scripting exercises, breathing will help you to move through it effectively. So, There are some of the steps that I think it can really help us to overcome procrastination. But if you get nothing else out of this podcast episode today, please know that if you do procrastinate, there's nothing wrong with you. There's not some character flaw that is inherent in you that cannot be overcome. This is just a function of our brain. It's trying to protect us. It's trying to keep us safe. It's not necessary anymore, and we are able to work through it when we just understand what's going on and override that primitive part of our brain with our prefrontal cortex. As always, if you wanna work through some of these issues, whether it's procrastination and becoming more proactive, or any other issue that you wish you can schedule a private one hour coaching session with me, I will include the link to my calendar in the show notes. This is a great opportunity to get coached on any issue and. It's also an opportunity to learn about what coaching can do for you. I work with a limited number of women in one-to-one sessions, and these sessions are part of a three month bespoke program that helps you to gain calm and confidence and clarity to create whatever results you truly want in your life. I truly believe that anything is possible and with the right support that coaching provides, you can get there. If you have a moment to rate, review, share and subscribe this podcast, I would greatly appreciate it. I hope you have a fantastic week, and I will talk to you next Thursday. Thanks everybody. Bye-bye.

Thank you for listening to This Daring Adventure podcast with your host, Trista Guertin. We hope you enjoyed the tips and conversations on how to get excited about life again. As always, you can head to tristaguertin.com for additional resources and to book a one-on-one coaching session. You can also follow Trista on Instagram at tristavguertin. Don't forget to subscribe, rate and review us on Apple Podcasts. Thanks again for tuning in and we'll see you next time.