Self-Sabotage

Welcome to This Daring Adventure podcast, where we work on bridging the gap between where we are and where we want to be in order to live a bigger and bolder life. In this podcast, we will provide inspiration, tips, and skills you need to make your life the adventure you want it to be. Here's your host, mindset mentor and life coach Trista Guertin.

Hey everybody, welcome back to This Daring Adventure.

Today, I wanted to talk about self sabotage, but before we do that, I wanted to remind you that you can still sign up for a free mini coaching session with me.

It's a one to one session the appointment is 30 minutes, you get 20 minutes of coaching. It's a powerful 20 minutes. I know 20 minutes may not seem like a lot, but trust me, it is. You can have a powerful shift during that time. You can bring any issue, any problem, anything you want to work on and get coached. So the link will be in the show notes, get on my calendar. And I have done several of these over the past few weeks. I'm really enjoying them. I've met some amazing women. And it's been great to meet them and hear their stories and give them a little bit of support and a little bit of help to get them unstuck and moving again.

So I highly encourage you if you're interested, if you're curious about trying coaching, if you have something you're working on, sign up now and I would love to meet you.

Today I wanted to talk about something that keeps many of us stuck and that's self sabotage if you've ever felt like you're undermining your own efforts and spinning your wheels, this episode is for you.

This comes from a coaching conversation that I had with a client recently And I think her experience will resonate with many of you. And she came to the session talking about feeling very stuck not able to take action and feeling like she had been that way for years. And she was spending a lot of time trying to figure out why.

But she just always felt she was waiting for the other shoe to drop, like something bad was going to happen. Maybe somebody in her family would get sick with cancer or she would lose her house or there was something catastrophic coming. And in the meantime, she had gained a lot of weight. She had racked up credit card debt and she had started drinking too much. And she just felt that she was sabotaging her life, but she couldn't figure out why. And she was having a lot of trouble visualizing her future. she felt tired, she felt exhausted, she felt brain dead and that she wasn't able to make a plan.

I obviously understand, and I think, we've all been there in one way or the other. and so that cycle of sabotage can be extremely challenging, and it makes sense that she was feeling like she was stuck. And the first thing I did was reassure her that she's not alone.

Many people find themselves in this loop of inaction, feeling like they're waiting for something big, feeling like they're waiting for some big disaster to jolt them into change.

But here's the thing, waiting for a crisis to force you into action is keeping you in passive action. but you're stuck in the thinking about it phase, the organizing, the planning, the analyzing, but not the doing.

The first thing I recommend is always stop trying to figure out the why. It might feel like that's the key. If you can figure out why, then you can figure out what to do about it.

But that becomes a trap.

Asking why over and over again is what keeps you in passive action. Feels productive, but it doesn't actually move you forward. I suspect deep down, my client already knew why. And she said it when she first was talking about her problem, that she's seeking comfort. She was overeating, overspending, overdrinking because they were temporarily soothing the discomfort that she felt, but waiting for the right motivation or the clarity to act will keep you in this cycle indefinitely. Here's the hard truth, and the good news.

The way out is to take action, even when it feels terrible. Right now, my client was looking for the path of least resistance.

But real change requires embracing discomfort. It means doing the hard things. meal prepping when you'd rather eat fast food, saying no to another drink, logging into your bank account to tackle debt, even when it feels overwhelming. And it can feel terrible, but it's doing it anyway. All the planning and the analyzing are great, But they won't change your life unless you consistently implement them.

Now this is probably not what she wanted to hear. It can feel overwhelming, it can sound exhausting, and definitely it will feel that way at first. But the truth is that momentum creates energy.

So when you start taking small actions consistently, you'll see progress. And that progress will fuel your motivation. remember, the action, you want to be persistent, you want to keep taking the action, and that's what's called massive action. You keep taking action, you keep going, you keep showing up, but there may be some failure along the way. There may be some setbacks, there may be some disappointments, but failure will be part of the process. It's not the enemy, consider it feedback.

When you fail, it's a chance to learn and adjust, it is not a reason to stop. And this is why I teach, how to build a better relationship with yourself and why it's so important.

Because right now, it sounds like my client's inner dialogue is harsh and self critical, but we want to shift that. And part of the way we shift that is to imagine her future self. It's that version of her who is broken free from this cycle. She's healthier, she's financially stable, she's living a life she loves. Now, to do this, you want to ask, and she wants to, I want her to ask herself, What does my future self need from me today? And it's from this place she starts to take action. Possibly, her future self would say she needs me to stop making excuses and just to do it.

And this is what it requires. You showing up for her, for your future self, even when it's uncomfortable. Because every little action that you take today will set her up for future success. And this is why coaching can be such a powerful tool. It's not just about giving you strategies, but it's helping you to change the way you see yourself and take ownership of your life.

With this shift, my client started to see herself and her situation in a completely different way. I know a lot of you may be resonating with this and thinking this might be you.

Understand this: you don't have to stay stuck. Self sabotage doesn't have to define you. What you want to do is start small. Pick one action, just one, that aligns with your future self. The future self you want to create.

And remember, discomfort will be part of the journey. You cannot get away from it. But it's not a sign to stop. It's a sign that you're growing. so take a moment to imagine your future self.

The version of you who has already broken through, the version of you who has broken free from this cycle of self sabotage.

Maybe she's healthier, she's more organized, she's more energized, she's more confident, she's taking control of her life and her habits, she's living in alignment with her goals and her dreams. Ask her what she needs from you today. She doesn't need you to have it all figured out. She doesn't need you to be perfect. She just needs you to start.

Take one small action, no matter how uncomfortable it is, and then keep going.

Take failure as feedback, but be persistent, not perfect. Just keep going. And if you stop, if you lose your way, start again. Start where you are and begin again. And you can always ask your future self what she needs from you. But do this as daily work. You're never going to be one and done.

There's never going to be a point where you don't need to be working on your brain, your mindset, your emotions, and taking action towards what you want. This will be a lifelong process. But this is a part of building a better relationship with yourself, and it's not just about changing bad habits, but it's about changing how you see yourself and how you treat yourself. And when you start to show up for yourself consistently, even in small ways, you're telling yourself, I'm worth it.

My future is worth it. If you're ready to break free from self sabotage but don't know where to start, coaching can help. It's not just about strategies, but it's about transforming the way you think, feel, and act. You start to think better, you start to feel better, and you start to do better. It's about helping you step into the version of yourself that you want to become.

As I mentioned at the beginning of the episode, If you want to try this, if you have some questions, if you have something you're working on, if you're trying to break the cycle of self sabotage, I invite you to sign up for a free mini coaching session.

This is a great way to jumpstart you into the momentum you need to change your life. And I promise there will be a shift,

Remember, you don't have to stay stuck.

You can make a change with one small, courageous step. All right.

I also wanted to let you know that I have created a help for the holidays mini course. it's a great little course to help you get through the holidays without the stress, without the worry, without the overwhelm, without feeling at the mercy of your mother in law or your sister or all of the pressure of presents and making it perfect. It is about making shifts so that you can let go of the stress, let go of the expectations, and focus on the joy and focus on having fun and focus on having peace. The link will be in the show notes. I think it's a great little course. It's packed with information and tips and techniques that you can use right away to start to make a shift and feel better for the holidays. So check it out. I think you'll really like it.

And I will see you next time. Thanks, everybody. Bye bye.

Thank you for listening to this Daring Adventure podcast with your host Trista Guertin.

We hope you enjoyed the tips and conversations on how to get excited about life again.

As always, you can head to tristaguertin.com for additional resources and to book a one on one coaching session.

You can also follow Trista on Instagram at tristavguertin.

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