Why is Life so Hard?

Hey everybody. I wanted to do a little mini episode for you today entitled, why is life so hard? I think it is something that is sometimes quietly running through our minds. shaping the way we feel about ourselves and our lives, and it's the stories that we tell ourselves. The stories that feel so true, they seem like facts. But I wanted to challenge you today and ask you, maybe they're not, what if they're not true? So let me share an example with you of what I mean. I worked with a client recently who had a thought she just couldn't shake, and that was, things are hard for me. It had been running through her mind for several months and it really felt deeply true for her and honestly, looking at her life, she could provide a ton of evidence to back it up and probably. If she was talking to you, you would probably agree. she had a challenging childhood. She had a marriage filled with constant travel. She had health challenges with her son. She was struggling with her weight. And she even had early onset menopause. And she faced every one of those challenges head on. She'd overcome so much. But yet, no matter how much mindset work she did, she had this thought, that things are hard for me. It was just this constant underlying narrative in her life. And it just kept showing up. in all of our client sessions. And here's the problem. That thought wasn't just something she noticed occasionally, but it was shaping her life. It was a persistent, it was a persistent thought. And the impact of that was that thought was like a filter through which she saw everything. It made her feel stuck, it sapped her confidence, and it left her swimming in feelings of inadequacy and even jealousy. And that's what our stories do. They color the way we see the world, and they shape how we feel about ourselves and our lives. So we started to work together, and the breakthrough didn't just come overnight. It And she took some work, and she was doing a lot of work on herself and she was doing a lot of work in our coaching sessions. But in one of the sessions we explored this thought, things are hard for me, and we uncovered something important, her brain. all of ours, was doing exactly what it's designed to do. The primitive part of her brain, often called the survival brain, was working hard to keep her safe. Now here's how. The primitive brain is wired to scan for danger, It focuses on problems, and it prepares for challenges. Its job is to protect us, and it's been doing that for humans since the dawn of time. For my client, this part of her brain was constantly on high alert, cataloging every hard thing in her life as proof that life was a struggle. And while that served a purpose at one time, helping her navigate real challenges and survive, it wasn't helping her anymore. And in fact, it was just keeping her stuck. Her primitive brain was creating a loop, focusing on the hard things, amplifying those struggles, and reinforcing the thought, things are hard for me. It was like she was carrying around a backpack full of rocks labeled struggle, inadequacy, and frustration, all because her brain believed it needed to prepare for more hardship ahead. What we did through our coaching was that she began to see this pattern for what it was. A primitive response, not an unchangeable truth. Nothing had gone wrong, she wasn't doing anything wrong, there was nothing wrong with her. It was just helping her notice how this thought wasn't a fact. But, Rather, it's a deeply ingrained story her brain had latched onto for years. Together, we worked on rewiring her mindset so that she shifted from focusing on the problems to seeing possibilities on focusing what was helpful instead of focusing on what was keeping her stuck. So we asked her brain better questions. What if things are hard? But I'm stronger than I think. What if I don't have to hold on to this story to explain my struggles? What if life isn't about avoiding hard things But learning to navigate them with confidence and as we coach through these ideas something really shifted for her She realized that her brain didn't need to stay on high alert anymore life was still gonna present challenges But she no longer had to approach it with the weight of things are hard for me Instead, she adopted a new thought, which was, I can handle hard things. So that simple but powerful shift Letting go of their resistance to life's challenges freed her from the heavy backpack of struggle. Life is hard sometimes, but she started to see the hard moments as a part of life, not as proof of failure. She When she saw that she wasn't failing, and she wasn't destined to struggle forever, it was just life. Her confidence grew because she wasn't bracing for impact anymore. She wasn't waiting for the other shoe to drop. She could meet life head on, knowing she had the strength to handle it. reminding herself that she could handle hard things. She started to take back her power. And this is really the magic of coaching because it's not about just identifying the thoughts that keep us stuck, but it's about learning how your brain works and teaching it to work for you, not against you. Your brain is the problem, but your brain is also the solution. also the solution. And it's about overcoming yourself, overcoming your brain, your primitive programming, to get you to that next level, to take the action that you want to take, and to really grow and evolve. Because I know we all have that desire in ourselves. It's there, and it's a push and pull with the primitive programming that wants to keep us safe, keep us hidden, keep us playing small, right? Avoiding change, doing what's easy and comfortable. Or going for something bigger, going for something more, going for change, going for growth. The primitive part of our brain is not the enemy. It just needs new direction. It just needs to be supervised. It's like a toddler. Toddler with a knife. It needs to be supervised. It needs to be managed. And through coaching, this is one of the most effective ways to take back your power, rewire your thinking, and step into a new way of being. It's like pouring gasoline on a fire, it's stepping up and going for the growth. Told her to keep practicing that new thought that she could handle hard things. You need to practice it, you need to rewire your brain so that It starts to believe it, starts to act on it and you start to show up completely differently in your life thinking that thought. Let me leave you with this. Is there a story you're telling yourself that is keeping you stuck? What if that thought that you've been holding onto What isn't a fact? What if it's just a story? And what if, just for a moment, you stopped believing that it shouldn't be this way? Here are two powerful questions to try. What if this isn't a problem to solve? And what if I stopped believing that it shouldn't be this way? You might find that when you stop resisting the hard stuff, the weight starts to lift. And you are so much stronger than you think. Life is going to have its challenges, but that doesn't mean you're failing. It means you're human. And the good news is, you can handle hard things. Thanks for listening today. If you found this episode helpful, please share it with someone who needs to hear it. And if you're ready to dig deeper into this work, I'd love to connect with you. I am offering now possibility coaching calls, 50 minutes, come get coached, and you will receive free coaching. a blueprint as to how you can start to move yourself forward, get unstuck, understand what's going on for you, and move yourself forward. And I'll tell you how you can work with me. You've got this. Happy New Year, everybody. Talk to you soon. Bye bye.