Your Relationship with Yourself

Welcome to This Daring Adventure podcast where we work on bridging the gap between where we are and where we want to be in order to live a bigger and bolder life. In this podcast, we will provide inspiration, tips, and skills you need to make your life the adventure you want it to be. Here's your host, mindset, mentor, and life coach, Trista Guertin.

Hi everybody. Welcome to another episode of This Daring Adventure podcast. Thank you so much for joining me today.

So I am back from my solo retreat in Italy, and I am settling back into my regular routine. I had a fantastic weekend in Rome, eating, shopping, walking sighting, eating gelato. It was great.

And then I had my five day solo retreat at the Villa Lecchi in Chianti and it was a very, very beautiful venue, a villa set over a valley. Everything was super green. It was super quiet, great food. Just a really enchanting setting for me to spend my days. I didn't even leave the hotel at any point except for when I was leaving. I had the pool almost entirely to myself, even though the water was a little bit too chilly to swim.

We had a bit of rain, but otherwise, the weather cooperated and. I said it was probably a very ambitious plan for myself in, in terms of what I wanted to accomplish, and I probably only in reality accomplished about half of that. The time seemed to pass very quickly, but overall I was very happy with what I achieved and that I was able to relax and just enjoy myself.

And so I did some planning and some reading and some writing and some podcast listening and watching some videos, and so it was a lot of fun and I am now plotting as to when I can do my next one, and I'm hoping that will be in September or October, but I do highly recommend it. I did my podcast episode on it a couple episodes ago. I think it was 31, and I know it's a bit of a luxury for some people. But really, if you can take that time to get away and give yourself some time to think. It's really helpful. I think we, you know, we don't spend enough time by ourselves in peace and quiet and allowing ourselves to see what comes up and to explore th our thinking and to plan sort of what we want to create and who we want to become.

And I think I will be creating a small book on how to plan a retreat in case you're interested in learning more. And I will be sharing that soon. But you know, go back and listen to that episode because it does have some, some tips and some ideas for how you can create your own retreat. Even if you don't travel and you don't have multiple days, it, there is a lot of benefit in just taking that time for yourself. And there's also the questions, the journal prompts that you can use that are in the show notes, and I can include the link here in these show notes as well.

Today I wanted to talk about your relationship with yourself, and this is something that I believe is so important to each and every one of us because it truly is the most important relationship that you will have. And it's not a relationship that we typically spend a great deal of time thinking about or investing in, or really understanding what that means.

You know, we get caught up in all of our external relationships with our parents, with our friends, with our partners, our children, with our bosses, with our colleagues. And we don't spend probably nearly enough time thinking about the relationship that we have with ourselves and that we want to create with ourselves. And your relationship with yourself is essentially the thought you have about yourself and your life, and your past, and your future.

And it really is so important, especially as it is a foundation for your future and what you want to create, and we want to look at the way we are relating to ourselves and how this relationship affects our growth and development and it really comes down to, depending on the quality of our thoughts, how we think about ourselves, do we have a good, healthy opinion of ourselves?

And understanding that this relationship will determine the quality of your life and your future. It is based on your thoughts about yourself, about your life, about your past, about your present, and your future. It is also completely optional. And by optional, I mean you can think whatever you want about yourself, about your life, about your past, your present, and your future, and you want to be clear about what you think about all of those things now and what you want to think about them.

You want to be very clear and honest about the story that you are telling yourself and. Understand that all of it is just a story.

Everything, all of the circumstances, and by those I mean the facts, right? Your age, where you live, your relationships, your job, all of those things are just facts. It's how you are thinking about them. It's how you are interpreting them. That is a story. It is optional, the way you decide to think about them. And are you thinking about them in a way that is empowering, that is optimistic, that is positive, that is serving you, that empowers you, that fuels you or not, and then you get to.

Decide how you want to think about them. If you don't like what you're currently thinking about yourself or about your life or about your future, you can choose differently.

You can start to tell yourself a different story. And you can choose how you want to talk to yourself. Which is also very important because that is what will create your feelings and drive your actions, and therefore create the results in your life.

You want to be conscious of how you're talking to yourself, and you want it to be kind and loving and positive.

Because if you're beating yourself up and you're criticizing yourself and there's all this negativity, it's not going to make you feel very good. It's not going to make you feel inspired. It's not going to make you feel empowered.

And if you are sizing yourself, judging yourself, beating yourself up constantly then that's create a corresponding emotion in you that isn't going to foster or drive any actions that are positive and helpful and inspiring, and that's not going to create the results that you want in your life.

So you really want to be conscious of the way you're talking to yourself and clean that up. Make sure that you are being kind and compassionate always.

If you catch yourself talking down, criticizing whatever it is, just stop it and you can tell it to you. Stop your brain. Like just stop. Take the same tone as you would with your dog or your child or anyone else, that you might be stern and determined not to tolerate it. You want to take that same attitude, that same tone, to stop. It's not acceptable any longer. That's it. Just decide. Then you want to know that you are a hundred percent worthy and a hundred percent lovable. Always.

Your value does not depend on anything external. It doesn't depend on your job. It doesn't depend on the amount of money that you make or who you're married to, or what you've accomplished or where you've been or what you've done, it is just absolute because you are a human being on the planet. That's it. You're just a hundred percent worthy and a hundred percent lovable, and there's nothing you need to prove. There's nothing you need to change. There's nothing you need to do, and you extend that courtesy to yourself and to others. And you just accept that as the truth and you're done.

Then you want to spend some time planning your future. Don't define yourself on the past, but look towards the future and what you want to create.

Think about who you want to become. Think about what might be possible, and I will tell you that anything is possible. If you truly, truly desire it, then it will be possible for you. So plan your future.

Plan a future that is bigger and bolder than your current life. If that's what you truly want, and go after it. Know that you don't have to just live on default, and if you want to, you can grow and evolve and expand and learn. And this is our purpose. This is what we are here for. And when you have that relationship with yourself, you are looking forward and looking to see what you might be capable of, what you can create, where you wanna go, who you wanna become, and you start actively living from that place. And a couple of things you can do is one, write yourself a letter from your future self.

Pretend it's 10 years from now, 25 years from now, and write yourself a letter from that place to your current age. What wisdom do you have to share? What ideas, what recommendations, what? What would your future self say to you? Now, tap into that wisdom that you know you have that's already there, and share that with yourself.

Another exercise is to imagine you are 90 years old as well, again in the future, and looking back and what outcomes. Would you have liked to have achieved? And you can think about maybe five outcomes, could be in health, could be in relationships, could be money, whatever you want. And what would you have liked to have achieved? And then start to take a look at how you are spending your days, your weeks, your months, and are you actively working towards creating those outcomes for yourself? And if you're not, then you want to see how you can start adding things into your day, into your week that helped to move you forward little by little, step by step towards creating those outcomes for you. And this is how you start to build a bigger, bolder future for yourself. And then the other final exercise is to make a list of things that you've accomplished over your lifetime. Let's say pick 25. It can be something from your childhood. It could be something from your adolescence. It could be as simple as graduating high school, learning how to drive, starting your own business, having children.

Whatever you've accomplished that you feel the most proud of, create that list and reflect on it and see how it has created your life to date, how it has created your life, and how it has created you now and how amazing it is you've done that.

You've created all of those results on purpose. And then think about what you want to create in the future based on those outcomes that you've, that you've listed and look forward and know that you can create anything you want as long as you desire it, and know that you can build that bigger and bolder future, that you can become the person you want to become. But truly focus on those because it will be those thoughts, the quality of those thoughts, the quality of the focus that you are making every single day. That will create that future that will create even your present. And know that all of it's completely optional.

You always have the choice, so choose wisely. You can make your future bigger than your past, and you never have to define yourself based on what's happened before or who you were or what you did. You get to choose. All right, everybody.

That's what I have for you today. Have a great week. I'll talk to you next time.

Bye-bye.

Thank you for listening to This Daring Adventure podcast with your host, Trista Guertin. We hope you enjoyed the tips and conversations on how to get excited about life Again. As always, you can head to trita ger.com for additional resources and to book a one-on-one coaching session. You can also follow Trista on Instagram at tristavguertin. Don't forget to subscribe, rate and review us on Apple Podcasts. Thanks again for tuning in and we'll see you next time.